What'choo Talkin' 'Bout, Everyone

Comments

I love and miss you, Adrian Ryan.

Josh Bomb on June 2, 2010 at 11:33 AM

congrats, this piece sucks. he was a cute kid who turned into an ugly adult. he was apart of a few obscure years of some of our 80s childhoods. great. i would be up for some decent anecdotes on this dude, some real meat, which i never find past the rumors, so i thought maybe there would be some in here. but this is just more crappy rumors and filling. this is like a last minute college assignment done on a shitty hangover.

aardvark on June 2, 2010 at 11:35 AM

You are supernatural.

Lindy West on June 2, 2010 at 12:12 PM

Is it weird that nobody cares?

Fenrox on June 2, 2010 at 12:22 PM

Fuck you, asshole. That's for Gary.

on June 2, 2010 at 2:47 PM

@4, it's really not surprising no one cares. Most people have real issues like dealing with Michael Jackson's death.

Cato the Younger Younger on June 2, 2010 at 3:38 PM

Adrian! Only you.

Soupytwist on June 2, 2010 at 4:32 PM

That is the best eugoogiliology I have ever read. I wish you could have given it over his tiny coffin.

vicvicvictorious on June 2, 2010 at 4:54 PM

was this supposed to be funny?

I couldn't make it through the whole thing.

large juice box on June 2, 2010 at 6:10 PM

i don't get it.

devon rocketship on June 2, 2010 at 8:08 PM

"He was preceded in death by Lena Horne, hope, and the Gulf of Mexico."

That's some wicked stuff. Ooooh. Make me bleed funny.

tharp42 on June 2, 2010 at 9:20 PM

You can always tell someone is a real writing expert from the phrase "This piece sucks." I think #2 is ready to graduate from writing Cragslist ads right into blogposts, or even the world of self-publishing!

HellboundAlleee on June 3, 2010 at 7:26 AM

You should be embarrassed to have written this soulless, meaningless, useless tripe, much less actually put it on the internet for other people to see. It isn't funny, isn't clever, isn't nice, and serves no purpose at all, that I can surmise, and is extremely disrespectful to a HUMAN BEING that just died young.

...while still remaining unfunny and useless.

You should punch yourself in the face.

Sloggy McGee on June 3, 2010 at 10:46 AM

Human being? Or human was-ing?

Schick on June 3, 2010 at 11:36 AM

This could possibly be one of the worst "articles" ever written in the Stranger...and they have Mudede!

squabmeat on June 3, 2010 at 1:11 PM

Lighten up folks! This piece illustrates that all of us go through big (or little) amounts of shit in this earth journey-Gary had a lot of reason to be pissed off. And if we don't laugh, we cry.....Adrian pays respectful homage to Gary's Soul Self, which was much bigger than his physical body or the pain of his sadly cut-short life. Brilliant, Bro'!

Big Sis on June 3, 2010 at 2:24 PM

Wasn't "brilliant" by any stretch of the imagination. There is a time and place for twisted humor--the death of a human being, whomever they might be--and this was not the time. Where was everyone when this man was alive? Where was all the sarcastic and trivial jabs at the man when he was alive? At least (if he had read this) he'd have been able to defend himself.
I agree with Sloggy McGee on this...was in extremely poor taste.

on June 3, 2010 at 2:58 PM

Gay people are so witty.

on June 3, 2010 at 5:08 PM

well i just read your piece and it has brought me to tears. thanks. That was the most awful, disgusting, lying, sadistic and frankly disturbing piece that i've ever read in this paper and i've been reading it for years. we grew up watching and loving that show. i think gary coleman was great and i'm sorry he's gone. you talk about him hating life and wanting to punch someone because he had problems. i've spent many of my 36 years hating life and wanting to punch someone because i have problems. but there are people who love me anyway and i'm sure there are people that loved gary coleman. fuck this, i can barely go on with this message. You should be ashamed of yourself.

S.London on June 3, 2010 at 8:02 PM

Personally, I couldn't understand the Diff'rent Strokes references. I think you should write a new article in which the show's plot and themes are explained in tedious detail.

Fistique on June 3, 2010 at 9:20 PM

I feel sorry for Gary, Todd and Dana.
It's sad how all three child stars of Diff'rent Strokes got fucked up.

auntie grizelda on June 3, 2010 at 10:37 PM

Dear Adrian Ryan,
1999 called and it wants its glib, cynical, hateful "irony" back.

Douche.

on June 4, 2010 at 4:55 AM

I hope someone writes something nice about you when you're dead, Adrian. But I doubt that will happen.

on June 4, 2010 at 7:08 PM

Adrian, you're the funniest!!

slee on June 4, 2010 at 9:07 PM

@13, THANK YOU, COULDN'T AGREE MORE! What a despicable eulogy. The Stranger has been rendered soulless for quite some time and this takes the cake. Adrian, don't quit your day job sweetie...oh wait!

MavenX on June 5, 2010 at 3:28 PM

Adrian, you're not funny or talented or profound. I don't know who's angrier or more screwed up between you and Coleman. I really think it's you.You're getting paid to write this vomit that makes absolutely no sense? Really? Are you on drugs? This was a real wakeup call for me. I thought Charles was the worst reporter there. You actually disgust me more. I need a drink and I don't drink much.

dani girl on June 6, 2010 at 6:29 PM

Adrian you are a blatant sensationalist for having written this piece so close to the time of his death, Regardless of how you felt about him, and regardless of how you felt the public at large felt about him (with perhaps their limited and one sided view), he was still a person not given much of a chance - horrible parents and unfortunate physical condition constantly played out on live tv. He got it bad a around: genetically (like you), financially, socially, any way possible. Keep the jokes for at least a week Jesus Christ man.... ugh. So you're pretty much a douche and should feel bad right now.

fughman on June 6, 2010 at 8:18 PM

lol. I've read this piece and found it funny. Seems a little choppy making me think it was edited(?).
Anyway, funny piece; and before I left a comment I read a few of the others. For fucks sake, get a goddamn clue! It's an article from The Stranger! What did you expect? Another version of Candles in the Wind for Gary Coleman?!
Some of your comment sound like you're one step away from being a Coleman stalker. Get a frikkin' clue!

white queen B on June 7, 2010 at 9:37 AM

omg! i'm worse than hitler!

Adrian Ryan on June 7, 2010 at 12:32 PM

no, your just a no talent prick (accent on no talent). With humor or comedy it's certainly okay to 'make fun of' people even if they happen to be deceased, but if you're gonna do that it has to obvious to your audience that you're all in good fun. If your audience isn't generally laughing then you don't know your job.

S.London on June 7, 2010 at 4:19 PM

true. i couldn't dream of arguing. luckily for me i'm paid by the comment.

Adrian Ryan on June 7, 2010 at 5:49 PM

Bang up job. If you hurry, maybe you can piss on his grave before the headstone arrives.

And Lindy: imagine you'd seen the equivalent of Adrian's article in a Hollywood blockbuster, wrapped in that itchy shawl of white guilt you wear to the theater. "Supernatural" would be the last word you'd choose.

on June 7, 2010 at 7:24 PM

@31

So not only are you tasteless, but you're also a ghoul?

jtwankerschmidt on June 10, 2010 at 9:06 AM

You call that journalism? That was the most poorly written piece of crap I have ever read.
I can't believe you can hold a writing job.
You should be ashamed of yourself for such poor work.
Your writing "style" makes me want to vomit.
You do not posses the skills of a reporter or a writer, and what you do write reads like an eighth-grade last minute assignment.
Find a decent roll model and try to improve yourself.

on June 11, 2010 at 8:19 PM

A number of years back, Gary Coleman lent his name and likeness to a minor PC video game, "Postal" (or "Postal II"), in which he played himself. Your mission was to assassinate him in a shopping mall while signing autographs in a shopping mall, with a bazooka or what-have-you. If you don't immediately attack him, you can wait in line and "meet" him. He fights like a Hollywood ninja! If you look on YouTube, there are tons of videos of people playing that part of the unholy game.

[MUST VIEWING for any serious academic scholar of Coleman Studies.]

Yog-Sothoth on June 14, 2010 at 1:07 PM

Gary Coleman had good reasons to be pissed off:
1. Being perpetually short
2. Having chronic kidney issues
3. Getting ripped off and used by his parents, who should have been looking out for him.
4. Hearing that stupid phrase all the time.
and probably a lot more

on June 17, 2010 at 9:34 AM

Pretty sad story. Poor kid...er...guy.

chiropractic marketing ideas on July 5, 2010 at 2:58 PM

Jesus, Adrian. Don't you know you're only allowed to make fun of celebrities whilst they're alive?

ggg on July 19, 2010 at 2:46 AM

What'choo Talkin' 'Bout, Everyone

The Short and Angry Life of Gary Coleman

Comments

Please wait...

Add a comment

Preview

Editors' Picks

The Audition

Danny Housman, The Stranger's First Music Editor, Reflects on Seattle's Music Scene in the '90s

The Long Winter

An Investigation of Seattle’s Most Expensive Taco Bell

Death of a Kinkster

Elliott Bay Book Company Is Looking Spry at Fifty Years Old

Support The Stranger

The Short and Angry Life of Gary Coleman

Comments

Please wait...

Add a comment

Preview

Editors' Picks

Just Can't Get Enough?

Sign up for our newsletter for news recaps, updates, and more!