Send your Beers & Rears to steve@thestranger.com.THURSDAY, APRIL 298:00 13 Robbie Knievel: Grand Canyon Death Jump LIVE: I appreciate Evel's son trying to jump a small section of the canyon, but... couldn't they have picked a more optimistic title?
9:00 5 Frasier: Christine Baranski (Cybil) guest-stars as radio shrink Dr. Nora--who's even meaner than Dr. Laura!FRIDAY, APRIL 308:00 13 Guinness World Records: Three challengers go head to head to see who can eat the most worms in a minute! (No worms will be hurt during the filming of this episode.)
9:00 11 Love Boat: The Next Wave: Stupid Alf guest-stars on this stupid show. UN-Recommended!SATURDAY, MAY 1
11:30 MTV The Tom Green Show: I'm taking up a collection to hire somebody to beat the shit out of this guy. Who's with me?Sunday, May 29:00 5 TV Movie: Noah's Ark! (1999). Jon Voight (Midnight Cowboy) stars in this musical version of the Biblical tale. Songs include, "Gonna Wash that Planet Right Out of My Hair."
9:00 13 X-Files: Now this sounds like a dream date: Scully goes on a romantic tour of Las Vegas with the dorky Lone Gunmen. Monday, May 38:00 13 Melrose Place: As the final episode draws near, Amanda begins treating Eve with some respect (if respect means setting her up to prostitute for a client).
9:00 4 Movie: The Rock (1997). Sean Connery stars as a really old guy who should be eating oatmeal rather than dodging bazooka fire.Tuesday, May 48:00 7 TV Movie: Down Will Come Baby (1999). Meredith Baxter stars in this TV weeper of the week about two women who become fast friends after an accident. (Lesbian content: 0.)
8:30 5 NewsRadio: Season Finale! Big Boss Jimmy announces his retirement, and takes everybody with him (except that big nerd Dave).Wednesday, May 58:00 7 Country Music Awards: The ceremony where country stars honor their own. Included: Hillbilly Bob Billy Billy's hit song, "Jezzy Joo Belle, Ah Loves Yooooo!"
8:00 16 V.I.P.: Pamela Anderson alerts the troops after discovering her breast implants have been stolen.
