9:00 4 DAVID BLAINE: MAGIC MAN Street magician David Blaine freaks the shit out of innocent bystanders.
10:30 COM FRANK LEAVES FOR THE ORIENT Debut! A 10-part sitcom that documents a three-day period in which a nebbish tries to leave for a trip to Japan.
8:00 11 SOURCE HIP-HOP MUSIC AWARDS Warning! This show features Sean "Puffy" Combs -- proven to be a leading cause of involuntary gagging.
9:00 4 SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH It happens every time: Your aunts are about to be attacked by pirates, and you lose your witchcraft powers because you used a fake ID to get into an 'N Sync concert!
8:00 5 THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY -- Movie (1995) Meryl Streep plays a farm wife lured into porno by a traveling photog (Clint Eastwood).
9:00 9 CLOSE TO YOU: THE CARPENTERS Brother Rich tells the sad tale of his sis, Karen.
1:00 22 KING OF COMEDY -- Movie (1983) DeNiro and Sandra Bernhard kidnap Jerry Lewis in this terrific Scorsese classic!
10:00 USA LA FEMME NIKITA The poop hits the fan when the organization catches Nikita and Michael doing the hokey-pokey.
8:00 33 DESTINATION STARDOM Debut! A new talent show from the people who brought you Star Search (gee, thanks a lot).
8:30 11 GROWN UPS Debut! Urkel (Jaleel White) finally gets his own sitcom (and looks even weirder without the funny clothes and glasses)!
8:00 13 GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS A guy who swallows foreign objects and vomits them up. Big Deal! I did that last week with a chimichanga!
10:00 MTV REAL WORLD And speaking of vomit... it's an alcoholic lush-fest when Ruthie's sisters come to town!
9:00 A&E BIOGRAPHY Featuring the chicken-in-a-bucket king, KFC's Col. Sanders.
9:00 VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC Put on those plaid bell bottoms and meet the Bay City Rollers!