Thursday, Sept 30

8:00 5 FRIENDS
The poop hits the fan when Monica and Chandler announce their plans to move in together.

9:30 13 ACTION
Sandra Bullock has a cameo in this hee-larious Hollywood parody! Recommended!

10:00 5 E.R.
Season Premiere! As the (omigawd!) 10th season opens, three new rats (cast members) jump aboard TV's favorite sinking ship.


Friday, Oct 1

8:00 13 TERROR ON THE JOB
Footage of oil rig explosions, office fires, and me before I've had my morning speedball.

8:00 TNT MOVIE -- Homo Drama
Tom Cruise stars as a Navy flyboy who runs around in his tighty-whiteys slapping other cadets on the bee-hind in Top Gun (1986).


Saturday, Oct 2

8:00 5 FREAKS & GEEKS
Lindsay "accidentally" eats a pan of pot brownies.

8:00 22 XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS
Season Premiere! Xena gets crucified, and boy, is she pissed!

12:05 am 5 SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
Season Premiere! The 25th season begins with host Jerry Seinfeld (Hey! I thought he was dead!).


Sunday, Oct 3

8:00 13 THE SIMPSONS
Bart's ADD drugs give him a marijuana freakout!

8:00 TNT MOVIE -- Talking Animals
Babe meets anti-commie literature in this live-action version of Orwell's Animal Farm (1999).

10:00 4 THE PRACTICE
Jimmy revokes his attorney-client privilege to save Fonzie, the bug-stomping pervert (Henry Winkler).


Monday, Oct 4

8:00 7 KING OF QUEENS
Doug shoots himself in the nuts with a staple gun.


Tuesday, Oct 5

8:00 22 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Season Premiere! Buffy's first day of college is marred by harsh classes, a bitchy dorm-mate, and the ever-present coven of vampires.

9:00 13 PARTY OF FIVE
Season Premiere! Party starts it's (yawn) sixth season, in which Charlie and Kristin... zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

9:00 22 ANGEL
Debut! Buffy's hunky vampire b-friend moves to L.A.! Recommended!


Wednesday, Oct 6

9:00 22 ROSWELL
Debut! Good buzz abounds for this new teenybopper "Aliens meets Dawson's Creek" drama.