HERE ON EARTH -- Meridian 16, Oak Tree, others

KADOSH -- Egyptian

L'ENNUI -- Grand Illusion

ONEGIN -- Broadway Market

SUCH A LONG JOURNEY -- Uptown

WAKING THE DEAD -- Broadway Market

WHATEVER IT TAKES -- Pacific Place 11, Metro, Oak Tree, others

ATOMIC TITZ -- 2nd Ave. Pizza

BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME -- 911 Media Arts

CALL ME VICTOR -- Varsity Calendar

THE FILMS OF JIRI MENZEL -- Grand Illusion

INDEPENDENT EXPOSURE -- Speakeasy

LATCHO DROM/FLAMENCO -- Varsity Calendar

LES BONNES FEMMES -- Varsity Calendar

MADCAT WOMEN'S EXPERIMENTAL FILM FESTIVAL -- Little Theatre

OSCAR NIGHT PARTY -- Baltic Room

THE RAVEN TRILOGY, PART III -- Grand Illusion

SCANDINAVIAN FILM FESTIVAL 2000 -- Broadway Performance Hall

SCREENWRITERS SALON -- Market Theatre

SONG OF THE SEPHARDI -- Sephardic Bikur Holim Congregation

SPIDER BABY 2000 -- Grand Illusion

THE STENDHAL SYNDROME -- Egyptian

THE TERRORIST -- Egyptian

TICKLE TORTURE FILMS -- UW Ethnic Cultural Theatre

WE SPEAK FOR THE TREES -- 911 Media Arts

March 31 -- The Skulls, The Road to El Dorado, High Fidelity, Whipped, The Silence, A Moment of Innocence, The Price of Glory

April 7 -- Return to Me, Rules of Engagement, Head over Heels, Southpaw, Spike & Mike's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation

*All About My Mother
Pedro Almodovar's highly acclaimed new film, a mature look at women (with the obligatory drag queen). Metro

American Beauty
Entertaining fluff. Take your typical suburban satire (midlife crisis, bitchy wife, disaffected youth), throw in some admittedly excellent performances, and what you get is the front-runner in this year's Oscar race. (Andy Spletzer) Aurora Cinema Grill, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center, Seven Gables

Atomic Titz
Mark O'Connell is an experimental video/digital media kind of guy, and he's hosting a free screening of Atomic Titz and other new work. Basically, he's a collage artist, using found images and sounds. The work will be "looped," so stop by any time between 7-9 pm to check it out. Tues March 28, between 7-9 pm, FREE. 2nd Ave. Pizza

*Being John Malkovich
It's the best film of 1999, and it has a monkey in it. Coincidence? We don't think so. Meridian 16, Metro

Beyond the Mat
Beyond the Mat is a documentary that takes a behind-the-scenes look at the world of pro wrestling. First-time director Barry W. Blaustein is an unabashed wrestling fan, providing near-reverential narration ("I don't why I like it, I just always have") and a surprisingly poignant depiction of his subjects. The most harrowing footage has the wife and children of wrestler Mick Foley (a.k.a. Mankind) breaking down in tears and screams as they watch Daddy being pummeled on the head with a metal folding chair. Wrestling comes across as an addiction for men like Terry Funk, whose arthritic knees can't keep him from the ring, as well as Jake "The Snake" Roberts, a fallen star who's forsaken his family for life on the road, boa constrictor in tow. You won't figure out why wrestling's so popular, but like the best bout, it's a helluva show. (Gillian G. Gaar) Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16, Varsity

*Boys Don't Cry
Bellingham native Hilary Swank deserves every accolade she's received for her portrayal of Brandon Teena, a boy born in a girl's body, who was killed by hateful people who couldn't, or just wouldn't, understand. Broadway Market

Bringing It All Back Home
Multi-media artist James Luna, from the La Jolla Indian Reservation, will be giving a "performative lecture" and will screen his film Bringing It All Back Home (which he wrote and Chris Eyre, of Smoke Signals fame, directed). The film documents Luna's life on the reservation, his experiences as a mythical, modern-day American "Indian," his feelings toward stereotypes, and other social issues. Thurs March 30 at 8, $5. 911 Media Arts

Call Me Victor
Jeanne Moreau stars in this 1993 film about a woman who lives in the attic, and who tells stories about her pre-WWII life to her 11-year-old great-nephew. Wed-Thurs March 29-30 at 4:50, 7, 9:10. Varsity Calendar

The Cider House Rules
Based on the John Irving novel, a period piece about life and abortion. Aurora Cinema Grill, Guild 45th, Uptown

Deterrence
The high concept of film critic-turned-director Rod Lurie's debut movie is this: While campaigning in the 2008 presidential race, an American president (Kevin Pollak) gets snowed in at a roadside diner in Aztec, Colorado. While waiting for the weather to clear, Saddam Hussein's son (mini-Hussein) invades Kuwait. The American president, who is Jewish, threatens to nuke Baghdad if stubborn Hussein doesn't pull out in one hour. Will the president push the button or not? Essentially a replay of the Gulf War, but set in the future; it's impossible to care about the outcome. However, the biggest crime Lurie commits -- after not throwing away the script -- is setting the damn story in just one location. More than anyone else, a film critic should know better than to make an anti-cinematic piece of theater into a film. (Charles Mudede) Varsity

Dolphins
Those who've read Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker novels already know that dolphins are the smartest animals on the planet, and Dolphins proves that they're the coolest as well. They defy the laws of physics by jumping higher than they're "supposed" to be able to, their eyes move independently of each other, they can see for miles when they're in the air, and they can find food buried in the sand via echolocation (hearing sound bouncing off objects). Dolphins also presents a rare look at these animals in the wild, and the favored humans who are allowed to swim with and study them. In addition to the famous bottlenosed dolphins (TV's "Flipper" was a bottlenose), the viewer is also treated to footage of spotted, rough-toothed, and dusky dolphins. An entertaining and informative trip under the sea. "So long, and thanks for all the fish," as Flipper might've said. (Gillian G. Gaar) IMAX

Drowning Mona
A wacky comedy about a really mean woman (Bette Midler), and the town that is happy to see her die. Aurora Cinema Grill, Pacific Place 11

Erin Brockovich
Despite the fact that Erin Brockovich is directed by indie superstar Steven Soderbergh, this is not an independent film. Julia Roberts' role in it is certainly not the equivalent of Tom Cruise's stint in Magnolia. Instead, Erin Brockovich is just what it is: another big-budget Hollywood film starring Julia Roberts. Universal has made it clear that it wants to make big bucks on this film, and obviously couldn't care less about the reputation of the director, whose past films have never made the kind of money Universal has in mind for this expensive project. Still, this is not Steven Soderbergh's worst film -- that honor goes to his sophomore effort, Kafka. In fact, because this is a Hollywood film, we suddenly notice aspects of Soderbergh's filmmaking that are harder to detect when he has complete control over his material: Namely, how brilliant he is working with supporting actors, most notably men. In this case, it's Aaron Eckhart and Albert Finney. Without this, all you have left is a stupid plot and the dentiglorious spectacle that is Julia Roberts. (Charles Mudede) Factoria, Guild 45th, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

The FILMS OF JIRI MENZEL
Six glorious weeks of weekend screenings, showcasing the works of humorist/humanist Czech New Wave filmmaker Jirí Menzel. Larks on a String (1968) is a satire of Czech culture in the early 1950s following the Communist takeover, and it was banned until 1990 thanks to the 1968 invation. Sat-Sun March 25-26 at noon. Grand Illusion

Final Destination
Just because a director comes from The X-Files doesn't mean he's clever. At least Final Destination doesn't have one of those Jacob's Ladder or Sixth Sense trick endings. That's the best I can say about it, outside of the fact that a couple of the deaths in this "mood piece" are really funny. Unfortunately, it's not a comedy. Okay, so when a boy has a vision about the plane he's about to take crashing in a big fiery ball, he freaks out and gets kicked off the plane, along with several other people. Then the plane crashes. Spooky. But you can't cheat death, and so the survivors start dying, one by one. That's the point of the movie. You can't cheat death. It never gets any more clever or complex than that. If you must cheat, then sneak into a screening without paying. That'll show 'em. (Andy Spletzer) Grand Alderwood, Pacific Place 11

*Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai
When he was young, Ghost Dog (Forest Whitaker) was saved from a group of street thugs by Louie (John Tormey), a low-level Mafioso who just happened to be passing by. In thanks, Ghost Dog pledges to serve Louie for the rest of his life, as faithful to him as any ancient samurai was to his master. Their relationship forms the core of Jim Jarmusch's latest. Whitaker's Ghost Dog is like Clint Eastwood's "Man with No Name" -- coldly professional when it comes to killing, but instead of Ennio Morricone's strings and whistles, he's got Wu-Tang Clan's RZA doing his soundtrack. But the movie isn't all guns and bloodshed. Thanks to a relatively simple story, Jarmusch has room to play with some of the characters and situations, often for comedic effect, giving Ghost Dog the same deadpan humor of his earliest films. (Andy Spletzer) Neptune

Here on Earth
Another stoopid teen romantic blunder, this time starring the jock from American Pie and Ms. Joan of Arc. Meridian 16, Oak Tree, others

*Holy Smoke
Ruth (Kate Winslet), on vacation in India, attends the religious service of a guru and falls head over heels into it. Her family fears she's been brainwashed, so they force Ruth into meeting with cult deprogrammer P. J. Waters (Harvey Keitel), flown in from America at great expense. Inevitably, sex becomes a way to balance their power relationship. The two leads deserve credit for such brave, honest performances, but save most of the praise for director Jane Campion, once again pushing everything to its bitter conclusion and then, surprisingly but coherently, going past even that. (Bruce Reid) Broadway Market

The Hurricane
Denzel Washington plays a boxer who was falsely imprisoned, who then becomes a folk hero when Bob Dylan writes a song about him. Meridian 16

Independent Exposure
Once again, Independent Exposure has a fine list of short films to offer. The most abstract short of the month is called Matrix Variant, a hypnotic series of mutating shapes and patterns accompanied by soft electronic music. The longest short is a comic look at the mechanics of modern capitalism called Lunch Money, by Fudd Films. And finally, the best short is Portrait of Lloyd by Lisa Shannon, which looks at a day in the life of an old alcoholic whose thoughts are barely coherent and whose heart is still bitter about his marriage to a woman who is now long dead. Thurs March 23 at 7:30, $4. (Charles Mudede) Speakeasy

Kadosh
Rivka is deeply in love but has no children, so she has her rabbi tell her husband he should remarry. Her sister Malka, meanwhile, is resisting an arranged marriage. Kadosh explores the conflicts of living in an ultra-orthodox community in Jerusalem. Fri-Thurs March 24-30 at (Sat-Sun 2), 4:30, 7, 9:30. Egyptian

L'Ennui
A depressed, middle-aged philosophy professor becomes sexually obsessed with an all-too-ordinary 17-year-old girl. But of course! This is a French film! Fri-Thurs March 24-30 at 4:45, 7, 9:15. Reviewed this issue. Grand Illusion

Latcho Drom/Flamenco
A double feature, consisting of Tony Gatlif's music-enhanced journey tracing the 1,000+ year history of the Roms ("gypsies"); and Carlos Saura's cinematic love letter to the vibrant color and energy of the art of Flamenco. Thurs March 23; Latcho Drom at 7:30, and Flamenco at 5:25, 9:35. Varsity Calendar

Les Bonnes Femmes
Claude Chabrol's rarely seen New Wave film from 1960, about four working girls on the dingy side of Paris. Fri-Tues march 24-28 at (Sat-Sun 1, 3), 5, 7, 9. Reviewed this issue. Varsity Calendar

MADCAT WOMEN'S EXPERIMENTAL FILM FESTIVAL
A rare group of contemporary, experimental (read: goatee-stroke-inducing, clove-cigarette-smoking, smarty-artsy) shorts by women. The first series focuses on collage, Super-8 assemblages, and found footage; the second series consists of international perspectives on the human psyche. See also Stranger Suggests. Thurs-Sun March 23-26 at 5:30, 7:30, 9:30. Little Theatre

A Map of the World
Sigourney Weaver pulls out all the emotional stops in a performance that's being hailed as one of those great, emotional achievements. The movie's not supposed to be all that good, though. Metro

Mifune
Immediately after his wedding to the boss' daughter -- a move we quickly gather was motivated less by love than as another step up the corporate ladder -- Kresten gets a phone call informing him that his father has died. "You never told me you had a father," the new bride complains. "I didn't want you to know I come from the sticks and have a retarded brother," he explains. Given that set-up, it shouldn't come as any surprise that the mercenary, soulless Kresten mellows during his sojourn at the country house, that he actually learns something about life from his brother, and that when a hooker gets worked into the plot as a new housekeeper, she turns out to have a heart of gold. This is the latest effort under the Dogme95 banner, which only conclusively proves that all the interesting gimmicks in the world (and Dogme has been one of the more entertaining) can't help a story as dull, hackneyed, and offensive as this. (Bruce Reid) Harvard Exit

Mission to Mars
One thing I don't need -- nor, frankly, ever thought I would see -- is a feel-good Brian De Palma film, yet the director's latest hired-gun assignment proves just that: an attempt to show off De Palma's soft and tender side. Guess what? He doesn't have one, and that lack is precisely what gives his best films their unique, demented kick. Without it, Mission to Mars is exactly what the ads look like: a misty-eyed and misty-headed sci-fi tale so proud of its naive, half-baked ideas about heroism, honor, and The Meaning of It All, it never realizes what a thoroughly dull and predictable mess it is. (This, instead of what I had hoped the ads were hinting at; namely, a vicious satire/rip-off of Kubrick's 2001!) De Palma, the professional, can't help but pull off the suspense scenes with flair, and they offer the few lively moments; but De Palma the cynic -- the one I'm more fond of -- should've used his slasher expertise to eviscerate the script. (Bruce Reid) Cinerama, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Northgate, Pacific Place 11, Southcenter

My Dog Skip
Another heartwarming tale of a boy and his dog. Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

The Next Best Thing
Rupert Everett knocks up Madonna and they decide to keep the baby, despite the fact that he's gay and she's not! Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

The Ninth Gate
Johnny Depp, playing a dealer of antique books, gets involved in a mission to open the ninth gate of hell, thus springing Satan. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

Onegin
Ralph Fiennes has just the right mix of lazy entitlement and intellectual self-loathing to play a wealthy Russian dilettante trapped by his own notions of love and honor; a better, sharper movie could have even prompted me to say Fiennes was born to play Evgeny Onegin. Unfortunately, Fiennes' sister Martha certainly wasn't born to direct it. This period drama based on Pushkin's poem is handsome enough, but once you're done admiring the pretty decorations (costumes, buildings, and Liv Tyler, all equally lovely and vapid), there's nothing else for you to care about. What should be passionate, even inflamed -- the story hinges on a fatal duel, after all -- is only dutifully spun out, until even brother Ralph's potentially fine work seems thin and bloodless. That said, even I must admit the room where Fiennes and Tyler have their last conversation is a miracle of set design. (Bruce Reid) Broadway Market

Oscar Night Party
Join the "effervescent Miss Intermission" and a whole roomful of movie characters (all in costume, of course -- dress up and win a prize for Best Costume!) and celebrate the glamour and FABULOSITY of the longest, most self-congratulatory ceremony in Hollywood. Sun March 26 at 5, $5. Baltic Room

Pitch Black
A small crew is stranded on a desert planet, and they must escape before the eclipse brings out all the nasty monsters that are afraid of the light. Grand Alderwood, Pacific Place 11

*THE RAVEN TRILOGY, PART III
The third film of Hrafn Gunnlaugsson's Viking trilogy, The White Viking, came in without subtitles. Somebody who speaks Icelandic will do a "live translation" of the film for the 7:00 and 9:30 showings. At 4:30, they're showing Gunnlaugsson's 1994 Viking epic, Sacred Mound, which explores many of the same themes as his earlier films. Thurs March 23. Grand Illusion

*Rear Window
Voyeur in a wheelchair gets his comeuppance when he witnesses a murder and tries to do something about it. Harvard Exit

Reindeer Games
The movie opens with five dead Santas, then flashes back to show the stupid criminals whose actions led up to that situation. Starring dopey Ben Affleck, which is countered by the fact that it's directed by veteran John Frankenheimer. Uptown

*Romeo Must Die
Romeo Must Die is pretty dumb, even for an action film. The storyline's a snooze: Two families, one Asian, one black, are duking it out to control Oakland's waterfront. "Romeo" is Han (Jet Li), who busts out of a Hong Kong jail to avenge his brother's death, while "Juliet" is Trish (pop singer Aaliyah), seeking to avenge her brother's death. But who cares about the plot as long as we have enough cool fight scenes, right? Li doesn't disappoint, handily demonstrating how it's a lot more fun to fight without using guns. The fights may not be as zany as those of Li's Once Upon a Time in China days, but they're plenty outrageous for American tastes, as Li delivers blows of death with his feet, makes handy use of a fire hose, and enlists Trish's fists as weapons when he's too chivalrous to hit a female opponent. (Gillian G. Gaar) Factoria, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

*SCANDINAVIAN FILM FESTIVAL 2000
It's not too late to catch a couple of Scandinavian films before the festival comes to a close. See Stranger Movie Times for detailed listings. Until Fri March 24. Closing Night, $17; individual screenings, $8; call 682-1770 for more info. See also Stranger Suggests. Broadway Performance Hall

Screenwriters Salon
Meet, schmooze, and pick the brain of screenwriter/ local film hero Tod McCoy, whose latest project (sci-fi thriller Pitch Black) is blowing up, crashing around, and exposing "dark sides of humanity" on silver screens all across the country right now. A discussion with Mr. McCoy about unorthodox storylines and commercial film structures will follow a reading of his screenplay. Mon March 27 at 7, $5, call 464-5830 for details. Market Theatre

Song of the Sephardi
The film fest may be over, but here's one last chance to catch a Jewish-themed flick. Song of the Sephardi explores the history and cultural philosophy of Sephardic communities here in Seattle and in Jerusalem. Filmmaker David Raphael will attend the screening. Sat March 25 at 8, reception to follow, FREE. Sephardic Bikur Holim Congregation

Spider Baby 2000
The 1964 bizarre classic, about the eery home life of the demented Merrye family, who all suffer from a mental disease that causes them to regress to a psycho-infantile state of savagery and cannibalism. With Lon Chaney Jr. as the sick & twisted family's caretaker and chauffeur. Fri-Sat March 24-25 at 11:30. Grand Illusion

The Stendhal Syndrome
Famed Italian horror director Dario Argento's film, where he casts his daughter as a beautiful police officer who gets raped not once but twice. Eeeeeeesh. Fri-Sat March 24-25 at midnight. Egyptian

Such A Long Journey
Roshan Seth is featured in this elaborately moral comedy (with a twist of Kafka) about a Bombay bank clerk whose life takes a turn toward dissolution when he does a favor for a shady old friend. Part of the Shooting Gallery Film Series. Uptown

*The Terrorist
(India, 1998) Santosh Sivan's beautifully photographed tale of a 19-year-old revolutionary's decision to become a suicide bomber. Thurs March 23 at 5:30, 7:30, 9:30. Egyptian

Tickle Torture Films
A nine-film tour of HIGH-larious short films from Northwest filmmakers. Titles include Trevor Fife's Steaming Weenies, Jesse Wine's International House of Feet, and Dan Monaghan's The Dirt on Mom. Thurs-Sun March 23-26 at (Sat-Sun 4:30), 6:30 and 8:30, $6. UW Ethnic Cultural Theatre

The Tigger Movie
From the fever dreams of Christopher Robin comes this movie about a maniac tigger who gets into all kinds of trouble. Metro, Redmond Town Center

Titus
Movie based on the early, violent play by William Shakespeare, with plenty of scenery chewed by Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange. Varsity

Waking the Dead
Billy Crudup and Jennifer Connelly fall in love and then must deal with death. Reviewed this issue. Broadway Market

We Speak for the Trees
A batch of passionate documentaries about the fading beauty and presence of trees and wilderness, and the struggles that environmentalists endure to protect them from destruction. Includes Luna: The Stafford Giant Tree Sit, which chronicles the two-year political statement made by famed tree-hugger Julia "Butterfly" of Northern California. Thurs March 23 at 8, $4. 911 Media Arts

Whatever it Takes
Yet another stoopid teen romantic blunder, this time starring the girl who plays Lucy on The Practice. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

The Whole Nine Yards
Matthew Perry freaks when he discovers a professional killer (Bruce Willis) has moved in next door. Hilarity, of course, ensues. Grand Alderwood, Pacific Place 11

Wonder Boys
Any film that can make an audience stomach Michael Douglas is a minor accomplishment. Curtis Hanson's film does more than that -- this is Douglas' finest performance in years. Vulnerability is far from his forte (and so is likability, for that matter), but somehow Douglas relaxes into a casual, harried weakness, and it's actually his reserve that allows you to believe that so much of what happens could unfold so naturally. Hanson, fresh from the success of L.A. Confidential, wisely stays cool and lets his camera pick up the quirks as they come. There's an appealing looseness to the dialogue, yet when Douglas says he has to save Toby Maguire because "sometimes people just need to be rescued," like the film around it, the scene has a gentle gravity. (Steve Wiecking) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Pacific Place 11