8:00 FOX BATTLE OF THE CHILD GENIUSES 2

Sniffling, asthmatic, eight-year-old geniuses are locked in a cage and forced to battle their way to freedom!

8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS

Rory devises a second birthday party after royally screwing up the first one.

9:00 WB POPULAR

The good news: Josh passes his first test of the year! The bad news: It's a drug test.

10:30 TBS FLASHDANCE--Movie

(1983) Jennifer Beals stars as the arc welder-by-day, stripper-by-night who can't seem to keep a decent sweatshirt.

8:00 ABC G.I. JANE--Movie

Demi Moore shaves her noggin and signs up for the Navy SEALs--but wait-a-second! They're a bunch of dicks!

10:30 MTV JACKASS

Tonight, our host wears a bikini made out of live bees and goes for a swim in a septic tank.

9:00 NBC IN THE BEGINNING--Movie

(2000) Adam and Eve are getting' freaky in the Garden when the landlord kicks them out.

10:00 ABC THE PRACTICE

This show sucks dead hippo dick, and I will never write about it again.

8:00 FOX BOSTON PUBLIC

Lauren walks in on a couple of students riding the wild baloney pony.

8:00 TBS DIRTY DANCING--Movie

(1987)Patrick Swayze's nasty crotch in action!

8:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Love-sick Spike reminisces about his first true love.

10:00 ABC ONCE AND AGAIN

Rick hits the roof when his son Eli wants to drop out of school and join (gasp!) a rock 'n' roll band!

8:00 NBC TITANS

Heather reveals to the family she's pregnant. Geez, why couldn't she have waited for Thanksgiving dinner?