Big Eden, Evolution, Swordfish


Rob Schneider stars as a man about whom nothing is funny, especially when he pretends to be a dolphin or a monkey or a dog. Jesus, world, have we really sunk so low? Opens Fri. Check Movie Times for theaters.

Antonia's Line
Much-loved 1995 Dutch-Belgian co-production about a matriarch who looks back and discovers that life is hard, but precious. Fri June 1. Seattle Art Museum

* Bread and Roses
Reviewed this issue. Ken Loach directs this tale of a janitorial unionizer, the woman who loves him, and her mother. The standard Loach excellence is to be expected as the film uses a political context to get to matters of the heart. Opens Fri. Broadway Market

Previewed this issue. Consolidated Works' new film series, which follows the theme of "Negative Space." The first film in the series, Fucked in the Face features man-hating dykes, oral rape with a dildo, and several other elements just as offensive as the title, which rhymes with Negative Space, anyway. Thurs-Sat May 31-June 2. Consolidated Works

* Cinema Rocks II
Doesn't it, though? 911 presents an evening of cinema and performance in celebration of what Robyn Hitchcock called "the great civilizing force of the 20th century," rock 'n' roll. Shorts like Pimpy (the Seattle stalwart about a benign retard and his dad, essentially), Scalp, and Triathlon will vie for your attention alongside the noisy angularity (one of those great rockcrit words that is both accurate and meaningless) of the excellent post-wave band Automaton. Sat June 2. 911 Media Arts

Isabelle Huppert's comfy class prerogatives are upended when she ditches the bourgeoisie in favor of an affair with radical, sexually rapacious Gerard Depardieu in this 1980 French number. Well, you know what they say: Revolution requires sacrifice for everyone. Thurs May 31. Seattle Art Museum

The Man Who Cried
Johnny Depp (as a gypsy), Christina Ricci (as the refugee who loves him), and Cate Blanchett (as Cate Blanchett). No wonder the guy is crying, with all this useless beauty. Also featuring John Turturro and Harry Dean Stanton. Directed by Sally Potter. Opens Fri. Seven Gables

* Moulin Rouge
Reviewed this issue. Rumor has it that Tom Cruise dumped Nicole Kidman because this movie was so incredibly gay. The thing is, it's also brilliant. Opens Fri. Check Movie Times for theaters.

Spaceboat TV
See Stranger Suggests. Music (by Kinski, Voyager One, and Climax Golden Twins), movies (by the underground), and technology are the points on this entertainment triangle. Sounds like a pretty good triangle to me. Fri June 1. EMP

* Streetwise
See Stranger Suggests. A docudrama about homeless teens in Seattle during the full flower of Reagan America that's as gripping today as it was in 1984, if not more so. Shows with Kids on the Ave, a locally produced documentary along the same lines, only now it's Bush America. Thurs-Sun May 31-June 3. Little Theatre

This chunk of Satellites 2001 explores the artful cinematic vomitorium that is Troma Films, where the bad masquerades as the intentionally bad in order to create something... actually kind of good (cf. The Toxic Avenger). Opens Fri. Grand Illusion

What's the Worst That Could Happen?
Well, Danny DeVito and Martin Lawrence could star in a movie together, for starters.... Opens Fri. Check Movie Times for theaters.


About Adam
About Adam is an Irish comedy with a madcap premise and a morally corrupt punchline. The premise, in which three sisters, and one brother, all fall for the same man--Adam--results in a candy-colored tale of narrowly missed confrontations, misunderstandings, hilarity, and sex sex sex. Oddly, Adam is revealed as an unapologetic hedonist, and is held up as the family's salvation. (Traci Vogel) Broadway Market

Along Came a Spider
Along Came a Spider is a prequel to Kiss the Girls. Again, Morgan Freeman plays Dr. Alex Cross, a detective who deals with the most psychotic white men in America. Though Kiss the Girls is the better of the two thrillers, I still enjoyed Along Came a Spider because Morgan Freeman is Morgan Freeman. (Charles Mudede) Meridian 16

* Amores Perros
Pungently translated as Love's a Bitch, Amores Perros comprises three stories of life, love, and aggressively twisted fate in the most polluted metropolis on the planet. Alejandro González Iñárritu and screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga have enrolled in the Tarantino school of storytelling, but the style and vision is so distinctive and assured that no one should dwell on that point. This is a breakthrough work for Mexican cinema, and for a bold and powerful new talent. (Richard T. Jameson) Broadway Market

Angel Eyes
Jennifer Lopez stars as a Chicago cop ("Stop, or my publicist will shoot!") whose life is saved by a mysterious stud who seems eerily familiar. Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

Add an "s" to the film's title for a one-word review. Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Oak Tree

Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones's Diary features a successful career woman (Renée Zellweger) with a personal life that leaves one wondering how she attained any success at all. She desires a boyfriend, sets her sights on the office cad (Hugh Grant), and moans when he dumps her. The film banks on "the eye-rolling sisterhood of solidarity," the notion that girls love to grumble over a lying, dog-ass guy. (Kathleen Wilson) Aurora Cinema Grill, Factoria, Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

* Calle 54
A documentary on Cuban jazz that has nothing in common with Buena Vista Social Club except a desire to tell the untold story of great musicians like Tito Puente, Eliane Elias, Gato Barbieri, and many others. (Paula Gilovich) Broadway Market

* Center of the World
Richard (Peter Sarsgaard), an Internet millionaire, hires Florence (Molly Parker), a stripper, to accompany him for a weekend in Las Vegas "to get to know you better," he says. She scoffs, but agrees, adding the following conditions: no talk about feelings, no kissing on the mouth, no penetration, separate rooms, and all contact shall be confined to between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am. What ensues is a bold, graphic, often hard-to-watch examination of what passes for love among the ruins of prosperity, in which we learn that the center of the world is, in fact, a devastatingly isolated place. (Sean Nelson) Broadway Market

Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
The film is a likable old dog. Crocodile Dundee winds up in L.A., gets in a couple of pickles, gets out, and goes home. Nobody gets hurt, nobody dies. As dependable as entertainment gets. (Riz Rollins) Southcenter

* Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
This attempt to wed emotionally reticent drama with the exhilarating freedom of Hong Kong-genre filmmaking finds its rhythm and earns its accolades once it gives its heart over to the young and engaging Zhang Ziyi. (Bruce Reid) Lewis & Clark, Metro, Uptown

The Dish
Here at last is a film that is about a radar dish and it really is about a radar dish! The huge dish overwhelms even the stars (Sam Neill, Patrick Warburton) and the plot (which is about Australia's participation in the Apollo 11 moon mission of 1969). (Charles Mudede) Meridian 16, Metro

A race car movie guilty of tantalizing, but not satisfying the prurient interest. With Sylvester Stallone AND Burt Reynolds. (Kudzai Mudede) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Enemy at the Gates
Enemy at the Gates is the story of a Russian World War II sniper (Jude Law) and the German sniper (Ed Harris) who is sent to eliminate him. When the dueling snipers embark on a cat-and-mouse chase to assassinate each other, the movie becomes genuinely exciting. Until then, it's rather silly. (Kudzai Mudede) Meridian 16

The latest and final entry in this year's Shooting Gallery series is a 217-minute, black-and-white Japanese epic that launches with the hijacking of a city bus; follows with murder, alienation, and despair; then lands somewhere near the cinema's favorite destination: redemption. (Sean Nelson) Uptown

The Golden Bowl
The last of three Henry James adaptations by Merchant Ivory Productions, The Golden Bowl stars Uma Thurman as Charlotte and Nick Nolte as "America's first billionaire," Adam Verver. The Golden Bowl is, in part, a drama of manners, but the filmmakers seem to think that a well-appointed costume drama with the weight of Henry James behind it doesn't need any creative help to succeed. (Traci Vogel) Guild 45th, Meridian 16

Himalaya is a groundbreaking, genuine portrait of the Dolpo region of Nepal. The story revolves around Tinle, an old chief who loses his eldest son. What follows is a mesmerizing adventure that evokes the forces of ancestral strife and nature at its most treacherous. Says director Eric Valli: "This film is a love story, a love story between this place, these people, and me. It's very simple." (Kudzai Mudede) Varsity

Kingdom Come
Kingdom Come--a movie about a Southern African American family (played by a superb ensemble cast, LL Cool J, Jada Pinkett, Whoopi Goldberg) coming together to mourn the death of a despised relative--should have been a television sitcom. (Kudzai Mudede) Lewis & Clark

A Knight's Tale
To spruce up a jousting story with a modern soundtrack (well, kind of modern), is hardly a reinvention. It's just a cute contrivance, unsuccessfully masking the deep hollow that lies at the heart of this club-footed attempt to foist a Teen Gladiator on historically malnourished summer audiences. (Sean Nelson) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree

The Luzhin Defence
Those who love Nabokov's novels, and are outraged when filmmakers fail to capture the master's intellectual essence on film, must do their best to avoid this film, which adapts Nabokov's least cinematic book. But those who want to watch an atmospheric film about love, sunlight, and beautiful Italian lakes will not be disappointed. (Charles Mudede) Seven Gables

* Memento
Telling the backwards tale of Leonard Shelby (Guy Pearce), a vengeful investigator suffering from short-term memory loss trying to hunt down his wife's murderer, Memento effectively mines the rich soil of the film noir mystery with universally corrupt characters and a watertight, intricate plot. (Jamie Hook) Aurora Cinema Grill, Guild 45th, Meridian 16

The Mummy Returns
The first (or, rather, the last) Mummy--the one that came out in 1998 and seemed like it just couldn't be good--actually kind of was thanks to its updating of the classic matinee combo of bad special effects and silly situations coming together to create a movie that just by not being terrible, managed to seem really charming. The sequel--in which not just the mummy, but the whole cast, plot, several lines of dialogue, the m.o. of ripping off every movie ever made, and most of the stunts return--fails to pull off the same trick. (Sean Nelson) Factoria, Majestic Bay, Neptune, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

One Night at McCool's
In the pursuit of material possessions, Liv Tyler, playing an irresistible woman (duh) exploits her curvaceous anatomy in order to lasso the men she meets (Andrew Dice Clay, Matt Dillon, Michael Douglas, etc.) into becoming the accomplices in her illegal schemes. This movie soon escalates into a riot of contrivances that unexpectedly sparkles. (Suzy Lafferty) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Pearl Harbor
Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor--and that's really what it should be called (like Fellini's Roma or the George Foreman Grill, the vision expressed could only belong to one man)--is everything the preview led you to believe: overlong, overlit, overwrought, and overpaid. It's nationalism porn, delivering all the basest flag-waving heroism with none of the meat and mettle of actual history or conflict. And as with real porn, your blood surges in the heat of the moment--with digital bombing raids over phallic turrets standing in for cum shots--and then the second it's over you feel dirty for having let yourself watch. (Sean Nelson) Cinerama, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Majestic Bay, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

* Seattle International Film Festival
Um, they're like showing a bunch of movies and movies are good (even though sometimes they're bad). See The Stranger's monumental SIFF Notes supplement for full details. Broadway Performance Hall, Egyptian, Harvard Exit, Pacific Place 11

Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) is the name of an ogre who lives by himself in a swamp; he takes great pride in his job, which mainly consists of being nasty at all times to all things. After he sends one particular batch of terrified knights packing, his swamp is overrun by the entire cast of traditional Western fairy tales, from Pinocchio to Aesop's talking donkey (Eddie Murphy). He finds the local lord, one Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow), and demands his swamp back, but gets hoodwinked into rescuing a princess (Cameron Diaz) instead. The film is both terrible and great. (Evan Sult) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Majestic Bay, Northgate, Pacific Place 11

Spy Kids
Fellow earthlings, I regret to inform you that even now as we speak, it is too late. Spy Kids is headed towards us like a juggernaut and only the childless have means of escaping. (Suzy Lafferty) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

The Tailor of Panama
Brit superspy Andy Osnard (Pierce Brosnan) has been banished to Panama for overindulging his appetites. He sizes up the tense, complicated international scene at the Canal and finds himself a hapless expat British tailor (Geoffrey Rush) to squeeze for information. Boorman's film is far too awkward and self-conscious to allow the audience to sink into spy fantasia. (Evan Sult) Meridian 16, Metro

All the Oscars in the world can't cover the fact that Traffic is just another example of Hollywood tackling a complex problem with the simplest and most conservative of solutions. (Bradley Steinbacher) Varsity

* With a Friend Like Harry
The blackest hue of comedy tints the tale of Harry (Sergi Lopez), a wealthy bon vivant with an unshakable affinity for Michel (Laurent Lucas). Harry, firm in his belief that Michel's child-strewn, moneyless life could be made more easy, begins to use his influence--and cash--to remove various obstacles to Michel's happiness. A new car here and a case of champagne there escalates to a predictably absurd degree. The film is plain in comparison to its obvious inspiration, Hitchcock's oeuvre. But a deft French wit, and that oh-so-well-done trick of Euro-allegory (about the difficulty of making art) rise like cream to the top of this film. (Jamie Hook) Harvard Exit