Thursday, April 25

9:00 NBC WILL & GRACE

Michael Douglas guest stars as a gay cop with the hots for Will!


Friday, April 26

8:00 FOX WHEN ANIMALS INVADE YOUR HOME

Video footage of monkeys, bears, snakes, and cats who piss in your clean laundry.


Saturday, April 27

9:00 FOX THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR--Movie

(1999) Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo star as sexy grandpa-and-grandma jewel thieves.


Sunday, April 28

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS

Bart creates an animated series based on his own life--which hopefully will be funnier than the actual animated series about his life.


Monday, April 29

9:00 ABC GILDA RADNER: IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING--Movie

(2002) Jami Gertz plays the much-loved SNL regular who died of cancer. Prepare to cry like a goddam baby.


Tuesday, April 30

9:00 WB SMALLVILLE

A candidate for student government eliminates the competition by mentally commanding bees to kill 'em.


Wednesday, May 1

10:00 CBS 48 HOURS

*NSYNC hottie Justin Timberlake discusses his influence on teens and why he broke Britney's heart--that jerk!


By the way, gambling is evil and wrong.

steve@thestranger.com