8:00 FX STARSHIP TROOPERS--Movie
(1997) Paul Verhoeven's heee-LARIOUS parody of war movies, American culture, space flicks, racism, and, in my opinion, The Archies.
9:00 NBC FIREHOUSE
A day in the life of New York's Rescue Company No. 4. (You know... I liked firemen better when they weren't "heroes," and they were just "hot.")
10:00 NBC SHE SPIES
Debut! Natasha Henstridge (Species) is one of three juicy boo-tay girls who hook up with the government to kick crime's ass.
8:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY
The life story of Liza Minnelli--from Broadway, booze, and pills, to marrying that weird guy with the eyebrows.
10:00 NBC MEET MY FOLKS
In this reality game show, horny bachelors compete to win the approval of some hot chicks' parents.
9:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
With only eight contestants left, Simon goes out of his way to ruin their lives forever.
8:00 FOX 30 SECONDS TO FAME
Contestants get 30 seconds to wow the crowd. Tonight: a contortionist, a juggler, and a "rapping granny."
Send your juicy piece of boo-tay to firstname.lastname@example.org.