10:00 NBC ER
When a patient pulls a gun in the ER, Dr. Carter cries for metal detectors. (Wouldn't that make it hard for wheelchairs, jackass?)
8:00 FX FIRE DOWN BELOW--Movie
(1997) Steven Seagal takes on toxic-dump criminals, and his ongoing battle with gonorrhea.
10:00 TOON HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
Skeletor steals the magical "ramstone," which forces He-Man to start wearing a shirt.
9:00 ABC ALIAS
Vaughn and Will get all testosteroney when they discover they are both crushed out on Sydney!
10:00 CBS CSI: MIAMI
Horatio and the gang investigate a mysterious murder at the beach, which I'm sure will involve a thong.
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
School counselor Buffy plans on saving a student who is able to predict her own death--just as soon as she finishes her cigarette in the teacher's lounge.
9:00 NBC WEST WING
An Israeli air strike interrupts Bartlet's preparation for the presidential debate, which would still make him three times smarter than George Bush.
8:00 NBC FRIENDS
Monica suspects that Chandler is obsessed by "shark porn"--which is gross on so many levels.
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