8:00 CBS SURVIVOR THAILAND
Tonight the ninth tribe member is kicked off, but is given a commercial-spokesperson deal for Gold Bond Medicated Powder.
9:00 WB JAMIE KENNEDY EXPERIMENT
Jamie hosts a "Star Trek focus group." Ha, HAWWW! Lookit the nerds! Lookit the nerds!
9:00 FAM CRISS ANGEL: MIND FREAK
Weirdo "extreme" magician performs tricks in NYC. Excuse me, but I don't believe I want my mind "freaked."
9:00 BET LET'S DO IT AGAIN--Movie
(1975) Bill Cosby and Harry Belafonte whoop it up again in this heee-larious sequel to Uptown Saturday Night.
8:00 ABC THE SIXTH SENSE--Movie
(1999) Bruce Willis plays a therapist who gets shot by Donnie Wahlberg and spends the rest of the movie pretending he hasn't croaked.
8:00 AMC ALIENS--Movie
(1986) The best outer-space bug hunt EVER (if you don't count Starship Troopers).
9:00 ABC ALIAS
Sydney must go to extreme measures to secure an antidote for her sicky-wicky, smoochy-woochy boyfriend.
10:30 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Season Finale! Larry fires his head chef, pisses off a food critic, and basically alienates everyone in Los Angeles.
8:00 VH1 THE SECRET WORLD OF KURT COBAIN
As it turns out, Kurt Cobain was a model-train collector. Huh. I did not know that.
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
The Scoobs get their panties in a bunch when Spike is accused of a series of attacks.
9:00 WB SMALLVILLE
Clark is justifiably alarmed when both Lana and Chloe fall for that prick Jonathan Taylor Thomas (Home Improvement)!
9:00 ABC THE BACHELOR
Aaron the rich jock bachelor finally achieves his dream of choosing one woman and humiliating the other.
9:00 NBC THE WEST WING
An Iranian leader asks President Bartlet if his son can have a life-saving surgery in the States. The prez responds with "Eat me!" and dances around in his "Rock 'n' Rolla with the Ayatollah" T-shirt.
Is it going to kill them to clean some drapes?!? E-mail steve@thestranger.com.
