Thursday February 27

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: THE AMAZON During an immunity challenge, the boy tribe realizes it's in big trouble when asked to match a pair of shoes with the correct designer.

9:00 MTV BAGHDAD HIGH Life inside a Baghdad high school. Waitasecond! If MTV is going to put actual faces on these people, how are we supposed to feel good about blowing them up??

Friday February 28

8:00 FOX BAYWATCH HAWAIIAN WEDDING--Movie (2003) In this Baywatch reunion, an old nemesis threatens to ruin Mitch's wedding... but not if a bunch of lifeguards with saggy titties can stop him!

9:00 CBS BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN AND THE E STREET BAND Bruce and the boys return in this taped concert that CBS hopes will finally prove it is "hip."

Saturday March 1

8:00 FOX COPS: MARDI GRAS 2002 It's kind of like Girls Gone Wild, except the cops get to beat the shit out of them.

8:00 VH1 SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER--Movie (1977) Barbarino stars as a nightclub dancer who doesn't like people screwing around with his hair.

Sunday March 2

9:00 ABC ALIAS Have you noticed that anyone who has sex with Sydney is immediately suspected of being a double agent? It's Vaughn's turn.

9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER Season premiere! Screw The Sopranos! For my money, this soap opera about a funeral home is the best show on HBO.

Monday March 3

8:00 FOX MARRIED BY AMERICA Debut! Couples are paired up by call-in votes and then forced into a loveless marriage.

10:30 E! THE MICHAEL ESSANY SHOW Debut! The famous teenaged talk-show host finally gets his own network show. This week Michael welcomes Destiny's Child's Kelly Rowland.

Tuesday March 4

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL It's the "Wild Card" show, where previous losers get a chance to lose all over again!

10:00 ABC THE FAMILY Debut! Members of a middle-class family compete against each other to win a million bucks! Yeah, screw you, Grandma!

Wednesday March 5


To help capture Angelus, Wesley busts Faith (Eliza Dushku) out of the slammer!

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