All I know about Pokémon is that it drives children insane with joy and parents just insane. My friend Henry is four years old and loves Pokémon above all other things, so I sent him and his father to see a press screening of Pokémon Heroes, the fifth Pokémon film released in the last three years. The following is a post-screening interview.
You saw the Pokémon movie today? Yeah.
Was it good? Yeah. There was this big thing that worked by only a little ball thing that controlled it.
Who used it? Some guys who went to jail.
What did the thing do? It was a big water thing that broke one building.
Was it scary? No.
Was it funny? My dad one time laughed.
Tell me why you like Pokémon. I like it because I like the Pokémon.
How much time do you spend watching Pokémon? A lot.
Would you like to spend even more but your parents don't let you? Yeah. I only watch one movie or two movies in a day.
How many would you like to watch? Ten!
What is Pokémon? It's like all these Pokémon that you have to capture to battle other Pokémon.
Pokémon have to capture other Pokémon? No, Pokémon trainers have to capture Pokémon with Pokéballs to fight other Pokémon.
Why do they want to fight each other? So they can get badges and go to the Pokémon League.
What happens in the Pokémon League? You get to beat everybody who isn't in the Pokémon League.
Who else is in the Pokémon League? I don't know.
If you could be any of the Pokémon characters, which would you be? Pikachu!
What is Pikachu? It's a Pokémon. I like it.
What do you like about it? It's so cute.
Does it have any powers? It has a Thundershock and a Thunderbolt.
Is it a boy or a girl? Boy.
Is he the smartest? No, he got beaten one time.
Who beat him? Kadabra.
How did you find out about Pokémon? Because I know it.
How do you know it? Because I saw the movie.
Were there any other kids at the movie today? No.
Do you think the grownups appreciated Pokémon? Yes.
Why? Because.
Because why? Just because. It was good.
