Thursday, July 14
8:00 MTV USHER LIVE
Catch this live concert featuring hiphop's most loveably skanky performer!
9:00 ABC HOOKING UP
Debut! A five-part reality series that documents the trials and tribulations of 12 women searching for love online.
Friday, July 15
10:00 SCI FI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Season Premiere!Adama is shot, Prez Roslin is in the hoosegow, and a civil war is imminent. So let's have sex!
Saturday, July 16
8:00 ABC THE PRINCESS DIARIES—Movie
(2001) A gawky, pimply teen turns into a beautiful, graceful princess. Hey, just like me!
9:00 TOON JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED
Brainiac opens up a can of super-powered whup-ass, leaving the League without leadership.
Sunday, July 17
8:30 FOX THE PRINCES OF MALIBU
Though it's obviously staged, check out this "reality" show about a couple of spoiled beefcakes driving their stepdad ba-zonkers.
10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
Vince and the gang head to Sundance to woo James Cameron and bang a few snow hookers.
Monday, July 18
9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
The contestants have 15 minutes to make something edible out of leftovers in Chef Ramsay's hilariously cruel kitchen.
1:00 am GSN KENNY VS. SPENNY
Two pals compete in the most humiliating and funny challenges ever!
Tuesday, July 19
10:00 FX RESCUE ME
Drunk and abrasive Tommy struggles with a new and utterly confounding concept: sensitivity.
10:00 GSN EXTREME DODGEBALL
Season Premiere! It's a whole new season of ball-bustin' fun—but don't forget your cup.
Wednesday, July 20
8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
Debut! It's like American Idol, except for people who have cerebral palsy.
10:00 FX 30 DAYS
Season Finale! To demonstrate the evils of alcohol, a mom spends 30 days binge drinking with her college-age kids.Whoo! Whoo! Mom's doing a keg-stand!
Bang! Bang, bang, bang, BANG! steve@thestranger.com
