Thursday, Nov 17

8:00 FOX THE O.C.Taylor Townsend gets between Seth and Summer, and (surprise!) Ryan gets into a fight at the Bait Shop.8:00 WB SMALLVILLEWhen Clark's mom teeters on the brink of death, he makes a deal with the devil (Professor Fine).

Friday, Nov 18

9:00 HALL FREAKY FRIDAY—Movie(1977) When a slobby daughter (Jodie Foster) switches bodies with her mom, she learns the joys of menopause.

Saturday, Nov 19

7:30 WB FATAL ATTRACTION(1987) Crazy gal pal Glenn Close prepares cheatin' Michael Douglas his favorite meal—boiled bunny.8:00 ABC HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS—Movie(2002) Young Harry discovers Hermione's secret chamber, but fails at finding the clitoris.

Sunday, Nov 20

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONSAfter Homer's tepid response to her present, Lisa develops "adolescent disappointment disorder."8:00 NBC THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE—Movie(2005) Oh, hell yeah! Let's get our Guttenberg on!

Monday, Nov 21

8:00 FOX PRISONBREAKThe idiots at Fox have stopped production of Arrested Development, so enjoy this rerun of Prison Break!8:00 BET NEW JACK CITY—Movie(1991) The cops take on the king of a high-tech crack syndicate. Starring Wesley Snipes, Ice-T, and (wow!) Judd Nelson!

Tuesday, Nov 22

9:00 NBC MY NAME IS EARLEarl vows to make it up to his pop after he ruins his run for mayor.9:30 NBC THE OFFICEMichael comes up with an awesome idea for getting closer to his employees: read their private e-mails!

Wednesday, Nov 23

8:00 UPN AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODELThe girls are assigned to pose as statues in the park—it's just too bad those pigeons have diarrhea.9:00 ABC LOSTSayid opens up a can of whoop-ass on the tail section survivors. Fight! Fight! Fight!Did I mention I like Steve Guttenberg? steve@thestranger.com