Thursday, March 16

8:00 ABC AMERICAN INVENTOR

Debut! American Idol's Simon Cowell invents the worst idea for a reality show EVER!

Friday, March 17

9:00 SCI DOCTOR WHO

Debut! The king of the geeky sci-fi show returns. Time-traveling doc and sexy assistant set off on an adventure!

Saturday, March 18

8:00 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT

Debut! Pro wrestling returns to NBC... even though I don't recall it being invited.

Sunday, March 19

9:00 VH1 THE SURREAL LIFE

Season premiere! Tawny Kitaen, Florence Henderson, and George from The Jeffersons shack up for the sixth season.

Monday, March 20

8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK

Michael comes up with a crazy plan to keep Lincoln alive. Hmm, does it involve a "prison break"?

Tuesday, March 21

10:00 BRAVO REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY

Debut! A cross between Desperate Housewives and The O.C., which is so dumb it must be brilliant.

Wednesday, March 22

9:30 FOX UNAN1MOUS

Debut! Nine crazy people share a bunker? "Incr3d1ble!"

There is no "me" in devil, but there is an "I".

steve@thestranger.com