October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which means there are pink-ribbon car magnets, pins, flip-flops, track suits, toe rings, lava lamps, and "wacky women" luggage tags all on sale at

thebreastcancersite.com. Call me crazy, but shouldn't someone in the porn industry donate, too? This pink-ribbon crap can't be making nearly enough money for the cause; wouldn't it be fair, and just, if even one of the porn industry's top studios donated a single stinkin' dollar from each of its tit-genre titles? There's so much triple-X making boatloads of cash due to the female breast's superpower in porn and the dudes who buy top-sellers like Titty Titty Bang Bang, Fuck These Jugs 2, Tits Ahoy!, Melon Mania 3, or What Happens Between My Tits Stays Between My Tits—don't you think they would donate 50 cents or a hard buck if they knew how to? Which would make more money—online sales of the pink-ribbon pewter charm bracelet, or one pay-per-view interactive online video clip that lets the viewer make a virtual "money shot" all over Tera Patrick's beyond-perfect all-natural 36 DDs? It's high time the American Breast Cancer Foundation worked smarter, not harder.