Film/TV Nov 20, 2008 at 3:24 pm

Hugh Jackman: Some Feelings

Lindy West
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Comments

1
I'm not crazy about his face, but yes, I was all over that scene in Swordfish.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:34 PM Report this
2
I've heard his ackman is actually quite small.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:36 PM Report this
3
weird! I never noticed how tiny his head is!

I have a similar problem. I am supposedly cute in-person, but once photographed I turn into some hideous, stoned monster with a double chin.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:41 PM Report this
4
Oh don't worry Lindy, I will take small-headed Hugh Jackman off your hands. Help yourself to ample-headed James Van Der Beek.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:43 PM Report this
5
You light up my life, Lindy.

Might I posit that the ladeez and gentlemenz of the world are not so much in love with Hugh Jackman as they are with Wolverine - think about it, the more he looks / acts like Wolverine, the hotter he is. Hell, I'm pretty much teh straight and the first scene in X-Men where he's in the cage fight with that dude totally gave me a heteroboner, but then, that's probably more cuz I am a geek, and all geeks secretly want to get "snikt-ed" by the Wolv, whether they admit it or not

When he is not looking / acting like Wolverine, he is merely a very nice, charming, funny Australian man with incredibly nice pecs who, from certain angles, has this bizarre inbred royalty look going on and who I am still not totally convinced is not actually gay anyway. I mean, look at him in those tux pictures. He looks like he should be singing acapella madrigals with the whiffenpoofs!
on November 20, 2008 at 3:43 PM Report this
6
I think its the haircut actually. It's not very flattering and has a sort of Da Vinci Code-esq quality to it.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:43 PM Report this
7
Doesn't do ANYTHING for me. I don't think he's ugly, I don't think he's weird-looking (like Lindy's "tiny head" observation), he's just thoroughly unremarkable in my book. And THAT is a turn-off for me.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:44 PM Report this
8
oh ironic, i was thinking to myself "wow he looks just like haley joel osment" and whaddya know a couple inches down, there he was.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:46 PM Report this
9
@5: I think you're spot-on. He's definitely better looking either as Wolverine or with the Wolverine characteristics. And he does an awful lot of musical theater, or so I have read.

@3: you are definitely cute in person, honest!
on November 20, 2008 at 3:47 PM Report this
10
I think Nicole Kidman is the sexiest man alive.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:54 PM Report this
11
Fine. You've ruined Hugh Jackman for me forever. You people are mean. Mean!
on November 20, 2008 at 3:56 PM Report this
12
after scanning these photos, i just realized he has FAKE HAIR. really, really bad fake hair (is there any other kind?). also, it is scientific fact that men look better when covered in grime and facial hair.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:58 PM Report this
13
Oh, he's like Viggo Mortenson!

Sexy:
http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/ar…

Not - really, really not:
http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug…
on November 20, 2008 at 3:58 PM Report this
14
Lindy has a scrambled brain.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:00 PM Report this
15
The true culprit may be his lack of neck. The beard makes you think that it's just hiding, but really, it's not there at all.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:03 PM Report this
16
I love you, Slog.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:06 PM Report this
17
He is so NOT the sexiest man alive. Far sexier men include but are not limited to...

Jon Hamm
Daniel Craig
Aaron Eckhart
Scott Speedman
on November 20, 2008 at 4:07 PM Report this
18
Yea, that top picture is hot. Some people just look best with 3 days worth of stubble.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:09 PM Report this
19
Allow me to completely ruin Hugh Jackman for everyone who wasn't affected by the tiny head: While watching the movie "Kate and Leopold," I realized that every so often he looks almost exactly like Bob Saget.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:13 PM Report this
20
Yeah, beards totally make heads look bigger. And for Hugh, as his apparent head size increases, so does his sexiness. A glorious math equation that only applies to the tiny headed!

But haters, Hugh Jackman is totally sexy no matter the virtual size of his cute little head. Have you ever seen him on a morning talk show? He is so flamboyant, yet manly. I love that guy.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:29 PM Report this
21
Oh, man, "Kate and Leopold." I can't believe I watched "Kate and Leopold."
on November 20, 2008 at 4:41 PM Report this
22
oh, i love you so dearly.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:41 PM Report this
23
remember, Dan, hates beards

fear Savage wrath in this matter

Bead Lover Maximum
on November 20, 2008 at 4:42 PM Report this
24
Also, Lindy, would you be willing to form a Legion Of Funny Blogger Ladies Doom with Amelie Gillette from the Onion AV Club? I feel that this would make the world an infinitely better place and bring hope to children everywhere.
on November 20, 2008 at 4:52 PM Report this
25
I didn't even remember that that was him in Kate and Leopold (I saw it on a plane! I swear I didn't watch on purpose!).

I am in general agreement with everyone in that Wolverine Hugh is super hot, but real-life Hugh, not so much.
on November 20, 2008 at 5:16 PM Report this
26
@15 - Definitely the neck - and the beard provides some needed definition there.
on November 20, 2008 at 5:17 PM Report this
27
I used to work with a guy with the same problem. Everyone called him Beetlejuice.
on November 20, 2008 at 5:30 PM Report this
28
@19: I hate you so much right now. I fully admit that I was predisposed to crush on him before I saw the X-Men movies because I had a really wierd crush on Wolverine in the X-Men cartoons when I was in junior high.
on November 20, 2008 at 6:00 PM Report this
29
Was Fnarf referring to Huge Ackman? or am I just inclined to go down that road?
on November 20, 2008 at 6:39 PM Report this
30
He IS the hottest man. HE IS HE IS HE IS!!! Especially as Wolverine. Or on the beach with his trainer.
on November 20, 2008 at 7:15 PM Report this
31
@29: Yes, that's what he meant.
on November 21, 2008 at 12:04 AM Report this
32
His smile is really geeky too. If he isn't gay, then he's definitely a big nerd.
on November 21, 2008 at 12:35 AM Report this
33
what a cruel post, no need.
on November 21, 2008 at 12:54 AM Report this
34
Yep--he only looks good scruffy and with facial hair. Clean-shaven and freshly scrubbed, he just has no appeal for me whatsoever.
on November 21, 2008 at 4:07 AM Report this
35
Not all guys look better with some facial hair, just us in the Sexiest Men Alive category.


For example:


Hugh Jackman
Brad Pitt (not his new moustache on Oprah)
George Clooney
Christian Bale
Chewbacca
Matt Fuckin' Hickey


Better without:


Aaron Eckhardt
Sean Connery
Patrick Stewart
That kid who plays Harry Potter
Conan O'Brien
Tom Cruise (he was far more popular before the beard, admit it)

on November 21, 2008 at 9:59 AM Report this
36
oh MAN I LAUGHED out loud so hard!
on November 21, 2008 at 10:22 AM Report this
37
please stop objectifying men.
on May 31, 2013 at 12:30 PM Report this
38
Have some respect for men...were not objects.
on May 31, 2013 at 1:11 PM Report this
39
This article is horrifyingly sexist. You are objectifying a man who has worked his whole life to get to where he is today. Might I add, that you are doing it in a terribly mean way.

Instead of focusing on what you don't like about this man's body, why don't you focus on his work with charity? With a quick Google search, you can find that Mr. Jackman donates his time and money to more than 20 different charities.

I guess they call it "Feminism" for a reason. You are a sexist pig, contributing to this objectifying culture. Someone who fights for what is truly right would not call themselves a feminist, but rather a humanist... But that isn't what you are working towards, is it?

I will not call you a "dick" as you would if it were a man who wrote this article dehumanizing a woman. However, since you are woman writing this article to dehumanize a man, I will call you what you are. A cunt.
wading_through_the_bs on June 4, 2013 at 3:28 AM Report this

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