Here's a question: When and how did America decide that a pimp is just a lovable kook from around the neighborhood? An awesome clown whose main purpose is to install toasters and barracuda tanks in people's "rides" and help frat boys win costume contests? Because, UUUUUMMMMM, a pimp is actually not a great thing to be. Remember? There's that whole part about selling women for sex, sometimes against their will (you know, like slavery!), and exposing them to disease and violence, and then keeping the money and sometimes also punching them in the face until they are dead? Remember that part? But look at his funny hat! It's his rapin' hat! He's got a bejeweled goblet, you guys! Yes, but it's full of PROSTITUTE TEARS.
That's what a colleague and I were talking about at the SIFF Golden Space Needle Awards brunch this past weekend, after the audience award for best film went to Scott Sanders's blaxploitation spoof Black Dynamite. Now. I have not seen Black Dynamite (which stars Arsenio Hall as a character named "Tasty Freeze"), so I have no idea if it falls into the unexamined-glorification-of-pimps-even-though-they-are-really-kind-of-horrific school of comedy. But, based on no information at all, I suspect it's better than that. The reason: Sanders's funny, canny, Ăźbercharming acceptance speech, in which he used the phrase "pimps and kung fu and boobs and stuff," later hoisting his award (a heavy glob of bubbly glass) and saying, "I'm a little bit stressed because this is the nicest thing I've ever had, so I hope you guys can hook me up with some bubble wrap." Dude was adorable. REGARDLESS, he got me thinking about pimps.
Up on the Space Needle's 100-foot level, I was expecting a scrum of fancy film-enthusiasts jostling for bacon, but found a civilized, unstressful affair involving a pan of apple-filled blintz things submerged in a sea of creamy goo. Managing director Deborah Person thanked the sponsors again (she must be as sick of saying, "We have Freixenet!" as I am of hearing it), then it was on to the awards.
My Suicide won the Youth Jury Award for best featureâthe editor remarked, "WOOOOOOOO!!!" and then, "We slept in the park last night." (This seemed entirely possible.) Women took the top two spots for best directorâKathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) and Lynn Shelton (Humpday).
The audience awards were predictably predictable: Sam Rockwell (Moon) for best actor. Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death for best short film. And, of course, Black Dynamite. Because if there's one thing I know about the American public, it's that we love hilarious pimps (satirical or not). Hey, pimp! Pimp my pimp in a pimp hat, because pimpin' ain't easy! Big pimpin'! Bitch, give me my money! Ha ha ha ha... it's funny 'cause women are bitches. 
