I tried to write an Oscars wrap-up, but this dribbled out instead:
Let's talk about Whoopi Goldberg's bladder. It's been leaking. Everywhere.
I acquired this fact during the Academy Awards (which we'll get to in a minute), when she appeared in an elaborate commercial for feminine panty-diapers Poise Pads: a Klumpesque parade of notable ladies throughout history, all portrayed by Whoopi, their historical urethras gushing urine like so many tiny Old Faithfuls.
Read the whole thing HERE.