Film/TV May 27, 2010 at 4:00 am

I Watched 146 Minutes of Sex and the City 2 and All I Got Was This Religious Fundamentalism

YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP AYP BOCK BOCK YAP YAP HEW HAW ZZZZZZZZZ. Craig Blankenhorn

Comments

101
Ok, I admit I haven't seen the movie (yet) but this review just shrieks of "BITTER". Jeee-zus lady, get a freakin' life. It's just a movie for cryin' out loud. It's *supposed* to be escapist clap-trap, you harpie! Chill.
102
Greatest. Review. Ever.
103
Posted by The Mighty Feklahr:
"Start reading Filmdrunk, retard. We were calling that BS movie "Indiana Jones and His Kingdom of Werther's Originals" long before you thought up this ridiculous post, asshat."

I think you lost credibility when you called me a retard. I'm saying that the guise of hating this movie under the veil of feminism is in my opinion very anti-feminist. A well-drawn character like Carrie can have flaws like materialism and being a self-obsessed. Male characters, such as Indiana Jones or Sam from Transformers, rarely seem to be criticized for similar flaws. Whereas a movie like 007 is the prototypical alpha-male extreme of having fast cars and lots of women and tons of really awesome guns, SATC is the polar opposite where the women really like shoes and clothes and jewelry to a heightened extent. 007 rarely gets criticized, at least not with the hate and vitriol that seems to be reserved only for SATC, for this extremism. The clothes and accessories are just that, accessories, to a story about women who date, have sex, have kids, have jobs, and lives. Becoming mired in the gloss of the film seems to be preventing people, including the above critic, from reviewing it fairly.

And P.S. For some reason I feel I have to state that I am gay. Like crazy, hardcore gay. So gay I left my body when Liza sang Single Ladies so I'm not saying any of this to "get poon" as a commentor suggested.
104
What an outstanding review... however, after all that, you still recommend it?
105
FWIW, Fozziebare13, I think Lindy did a fine job in exposing how loud, dumb, and shallow Transformers 2 was.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/dear-…
106
Yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap YAp bock bock yap yap hee haw zzzzzzzz.

Sums up the majority of the comments here. Awesome review though. Seems to be pissing off all the right people.
107
The comments system ate my link, despite the fact that it was link back to The Stranger. Grumblecakes.

TF2 review by Lindy West: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/dear-…

The same level of hate and vitriol? No. Judo-chopping nerds with their own bubbling, oblivious enthusiasm for violence, sexism, and racist stereotypes? YES.
108
I like forward thinking women like you!
GMAN
109
+1,000,000 on your review. Awesome.
110
love love love love

there was something about the vapid shallow materialistic series that was ok as escapism once in a while

i didn't see the first movie -- all reports said it was merely bad

i just might see the 2nd movie when it comes out on dvd: it sounds ***epic*** bad

111
I appreciate how I a banner ad for SATC2 ("Click here to watch the trailer") is sitting next the The Stranger masthead as I re-read the review.
112
This review is made of shiny platinum awesome and I would love you for it, but my mother is insisting we see the movie tonight and I'd rather have my eye sockets raped by a magic lamp.
113
Easily the best review I've read thus far on this atrocity. Fuck the glib one-liners and nauseating puns that so many film reviewers sprinkle on their pieces, we need more gut reactions and fiercely polemic statements, especially with the shallow, creatively bereft movies we're dealing with today.
114
I will also join the chorus of commenters screaming your praises, I love you! You are funny, funny, funny. Please write a book, please? You make me laugh out loud, very rare these days. Did I mention you should write a book?
115
I love you.

xo,
gabrielle penabaz
116
Great review. Quite funny and insightful, and it makes me happy that this movie is being almost universally panned (I walked out of the first movie). One criticism, and I don't think I'm being an overly sensitive cake-boy when I say this...as a gay man, I can find great humor in "a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls". However, there seems to be an edge of malicious delight in some of the comments over this image.

Just sayin'....off to play with my Bratz dolls now.
117
LOL.
Why am I not surprised at this, - sex and the city was OK as a show, if you wanted something mindless to watch while you paid bills/cleaned/did homework you had been procrastinating all week. The first movie was complete crap. I'm not surprised the second movie is crappier
118
One million points for Lindy. Thank you!
119
@103: "Becoming mired in the gloss of the film seems to be preventing people, including the above critic, from reviewing it fairly."

Because the gloss is all there is to it.
120
That was the best movie review EVER WRITTEN. You are a god...a soothsayer of the silver screen. I bow down!
121
Many Muslim women DO wear expensive clothes under their robes. I, for one, am thrilled there's a movie celebrating women who are fabulous at ANY age. "Sex and the City" never claimed to be "Norma Rae" and will no doubt do well with its longtime fans who just want silly jokes about sex and fun fashion.

However, if you'd still like to sew up all your holes, good for you! With an attitude like that, I'm guessing they don't get much use anyway.
122
Lindy West, don't know where you came from, but I am pleased you did. F-cking marvelous.
123
Why are so many writers and readers of this paper so in love with the word "vapid"? Stop saying vapid! Please. Try saying dull or tasteless or anything else.
124
i am glad the movie exists just so it could give rise to such a hilarious and sharp review. love you lindy!
125
Beyond brilliant - this made my day. And it made listening to the jewel encrusted hag wearing 400 pounds of make-up at the coffee bar amusing rather than hateful when she took nine hours to order her skinnynowhiplightsyrupvanillahazelnutlatte and sent it back twice. My black cup of joe and I laughed all the way to work. yep, that's right, work.
Cheers all!
126
I am looking forward to the movie because, unlike everyone here, I don't watch SITC for political commentary, but for beautiful clothes, New York extravagances, and open talk about sex and sexuality from a women's perspective. The reason why you were so disappointed by the movie is cause you were expecting something that it never purported to do in the first place. its like looking for life-lessons from an Archie comic and then being disappointed ... treat it like it is! (Carrie has been using cliches like "toto, we are not in Kansas anymore." since the beginning of the show, why does that offend you?)

Also, for someone that aims to make an argument for feminism, to use the phrase "rape it to death" in such a callous way undermines the whole premise of your editorial.
127
This movie was made for the fans, which you clearly are not. You shouldn't have written this review when you obviously had pre-determined opinions about what you were going to see. The movie wss supposed to be about sex, glamour and fantasty, and anyone worth watching the film went into it expecting just that. You call the movie offensive yet you refer to high fashion as "hideous, disposable, criminally expensive shreds of cloth and feathers" ....again, something to which you obviously have no idea. I'm not saying the movie was Oscar worthy, but I think it served its purpose to be purely entertaining and light-hearted, you took it way too seriously.
Hopefully you'll have more fun with your vibrator tonight.
128
I love how someone taking a stand on behalf of feminism and applying critical theory to pop culture is considered by some to be sexless and therefore needing to get laid. This is clearly and desperate defense mechanism of someone who has failed to ever examine that by which they are entertained. Go ahead, enjoy this celebration of unexamined privilege and materialism. Don't worry your little head about the many ways in which such things have fucked humanity and the planet. Pass the popcorn.
129
Veiled Muslim women actually do dress up under their robes, as I learned from an adventure in Dubai. It is for this reason I came to more firmly believe that women dress up for each other, not for men. The women never show themselves to men outside immediate family (generally) but often disrobe among other women when they meet up. On the other hand I have a sexy friend from Shanghai who states she dresses up to attract men. So I guess it's either/or. But one can tell which one the girl is going for to some extent (which is the intent is it not?). I digress.

To restate in a different way: In my travels I realized the mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, women, men... across the world they are fundamentally the same. Indeed there are scoundrels everywhere. In the same light, just because women wear veils or robes does not mean they don't still like to dress up under the cover. And of course among the women, there are a lot of ridiculously wealthy and extreme women among them, just like those from this show.
130
Although this is well-written and made me laugh a couple of times in spite of myself, it is also highly offensive to those of us feminists who do not fit into your stereotypical mold. How you dress does not determine your beliefs and ideals. Nor does caring about your appearance make you an anti-feminist. What a narrow world view.
131
Great review.

This is the ultimate ANTI-feminist & anti-progressive movie.

Culturally ignorant and ethnocentric, Sex and the City basically conveys that all that matters in life for a woman is material possessions and getting fucked.

Is there any other message conveyed by SATC other than get money and get fucked and be ignorant? After all that is a woman's only true purpose in this world, right?

Disgusting.

Thank you, Sex and the City, for not contributing to humanity or society in any productive or progressive way.
132
Great review.

This is the ultimate ANTI-feminist & anti-progressive movie.

Culturally ignorant and ethnocentric, Sex and the City basically conveys that all that matters in life for a woman is material possessions and getting fucked.

Is there any other message conveyed by SATC other than get money and get fucked and be ignorant? After all that is a woman's only true purpose in this world, right?

Disgusting.

Thank you, Sex and the City, for not contributing to humanity or society in any productive or progressive way.
133
@AnitainToronto and anyone claiming that people are expecting too much from this movie: I am a a fan of the series and thought the first movie was atrocious. The writing has taken a nose dive a result of Michael Patrick King taking on all the writing duties. Thus, the characters I used to love have become caricatures, the situations ridiculous and fashion used as a crutch to distract you from noticing.

"The reason why you were so disappointed by the movie is cause you were expecting something that it never purported to do in the first place."

Sorry for us normal human beings hoping for a decent plot with engaging and believable characters. Hope you know you've just basically equated yourself to that of the fans of such classics like Transformers 2. I shudder for you, Anita, shudder.
134
Dear Lindy West,

As your one and only uncle (and one who once changed your diapers in total disgust) I find your final words quite hilarious. "Muslim women: Under those craaaaaaay-zy robes, they're just as vapid and obsessed with physical beauty and meaningless material concerns as us! Feminism! Fuck yeah!If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes. Good night." I love your writing soooo much!!! Keep up the great humor! I will pass this on to Kelsey, Annika and Kaari!
135
THANK YOU, LINDY WEST!!!!!!

I could NOT have put it better myself!
136
Bravo!

I don't understand how this franchise has ever been as successful as it is.
137
I actually thought that Lindy's review is hilarious, and I think that a second SATC movie was probably a mistake the moment it was conceived.

There were probably so many product placement deals locked in to the thing that it would be impossible for it not to be some 145-minute luxury goods infomercial. I'm sure Abu Dhabi bankrolled half the movie to get the play it received in there.

But seriously, were any of you commenters expecting any more? How are you trying to expect Hollywood to produce anything other than the reflections of our solipsistic American society? They got bills to pay! Hollywood could give a ufck about making you less of a numb-skulled consumptive drone than you already are.

I promise you, not even die-hard SATC fans are going in that theater expecting 'The Killing Fields.' People usually go to the movies to escape reality. Get over yourselves.
138
Thank you so much for this. I just had to (or couldn't resist) elbowing my way through a throng of women waiting in the rain to see this crap to get home and felt so depressed that so many people buy in to this shit and reverse all the work feminists have done.
Is anyone else suddenly judging their friends that asked them to go see 'a matinee of SATC2!??!!'
139
I've said it several times before, but I love you, Lindy West.
140
"it's connected to religion not cultural oppression"

You say that as if you're speaking of two distinct concepts.
141
It's a fantasy. Escapism. Men have James Bond. And Ocean's 37 or whatever number. And the various incarnations of The Hangover, American Pie & their ilk.
Why can't a woman be strong, & smart, & independent -- and have some fun on her own terms too? Must we all lose our sense of humor? Spare me a world where we cannot laugh at ourselves & the ironies of life.
Oh, and btw-Muslim women DO wear outrageously expensive lingerie & clothing under their burkas. Strange, but true.
142
I am deeply in love with you.
143
You are my hero.
144
No @Quacky, no one loves Lindsay more than I do right now, except maybe Roger Ebert who will be eternally grateful to have been shown how to write a proper movie review.
145
Lindy - phenomenal - even EBERT sez so on Twitter!
146
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
147
It could not have been said in any better words! Spot on review! Bravo..
148
I'm never attempting to write a movie review again. *bows*
149
I enjoy that you find this movie offensive as a feminist, all the while on this site you have posted your review on there are ads for local single girls looking to play on Lustlab and Sands Showgirls who spend their lives selling their bodies. Way to go!
150
As I was paging through the Stranger I came across this artical and was very excited to read it because I love sex and the city. Yes it is a little shallow but aren't we all? I'm not a rich person I'm actually jobless, but I don't take it out on a series. A movie. Sex and the city came out years ago when women who have tons of sex were labled as "sluts" and men were "studs". It made a path way for women express their sexuality, whether it be, you like to sleep around or your actualy looking for love. It might have spiraled out of control in the second movie but that is all it is...A MOVIE! What happen to a sense of humor? If you want something real rent a documentary.
151
The reviewer is correct: SATC 2 is not a good film. But this review is every bit as easy, tawdry, petty, and shallow as the film it criticizes. "Charlotte Goldsteinjewyjewsomethingsomethingblatt?" Really? That's brilliantly funny to you? Insightful? Probing? Superior to the humor in the movie? I don't think either film is good. But I'd wager most of my life savings against the reviewer being able to come up with anything as vivid as some of the middling episodes of the TV show in its prime.
152
vaginal atrophy
153
You are a witty and humorous writer but I'm afraid you're missing the point of this movie and the first. It is intended to be a piece of entertainment fluff that distracts the viewer from the drudgery of every day issues and should not be analyzed within an inch of its life. Have a cosmo and relax.
154
I am so grateful and relieved for having found this review. I just came out of the theater and I'm simply disgusted. Great job spelling out the atrocity!
155
OMFG. Amazing!
156
The author of this article is clearly full of self-loathing. I cannot imagine why she would want to spend two and a half hours watching this purportedly horrible feminine minstrel show when she could have been doing things like shaving her very thick armpit hair, protesting in favor of Palestine, and making herself a vegan bacon sandwich out of tempeh and alfalfa cheese.
157
OMG, i have not been this amused by a movie review in ages... thank u

158
This review is incredible (duh). My favorite part, however, was that while I was reading it there was a massive advertising banner for the movie across the top of the page. Way to go, Stranger-ad-placement team :)
159
yamrubber...are you really Lindy? That would be...amazing.
160
Soooo! You're saying this movie is about 3 hookers and their mother?

Never saw the series, didn't see the first movie, don't really care.

I did love the review.
161
An absolutely fantastic review. As a newcomer to the film critique world, I sincerely hope that one day I can write about film with even a fraction of your eloquence and wit. Despite how funny your review is, it also effectively highlights just how tragic the mainstream success of a film like this really is.
162
Simply the bestest, funniest, most humorroid-swelling film review EVER!
163
Confused about the whole registration and confirmation thing. Not sure if what I'm about to post or re-post has been said before. So, here goes. "Simply the bestest, funniest, most humorroid-swelling film review EVER!" Ok, apologies if this turns out to be a repeat. But that's what I wrote the first time, you can COUNT on it!
164
Thank you so much! reading your article was cathartic bliss. i am a long term rejectionist of the SATceunt brain insulting, infantile phenomenon that has been sold to us hapless females. I see a future where very few will even admit to ever being a fan of that show. Eeaw
165
Awesome, funny, smart review.
166
Love this review, sums up everything that always irked me about the depiction of SATC as feminist. While I often enjoyed the show in a popcorny brainless way it never had anything to do with feminism. It always reinforced the worst stereotypes. All these women EVER talked about was men and clothes.

As to the comments mentioning that rich Middle Eastern women often dress lavishly under their abayas, I think you miss the point. A cultural* garment is not the be all and end all of oppression, the message in the film was essentially "look these women are all liberated deep down because they have stupidly impractical wardrobes too".

Very very few women in Islamic countries where face & full body covering is the norm (and there's plenty of Islamic nations where this isn't the case) feel that their clothing is their biggest (or even a relevant) issue.

SATC took the Laura Bush approach to Middle Eastern feminism - as long as you can wear what you want it's all "mission accomplished". It's offensive, ignorant and dismissive.

On Samantha, I didn't read anywhere in this piece that the reviewer had an issue with a middle aged woman HAVING sex, just that the character of Samantha (like ALL of SATC) is so pathetically one dimensional. ALL she does is fuck, once again we have a portrayal of a woman who's only interest is men (albeit in a different guise to the version where we all want to get married and have babies)

If any of the characters showed ANY interest in ANYTHING, EVER, than shopping and men it might not have sparked such a brilliantly vitriolic review.

*in a correction to a comment above - Women's (and men's) robes in the Gulf States are cultural NOT religious - abaya's & niqabs - as distinct from the burqa - were around LONG before not only Mohammed but Moses as well. They were eminently sensible in a hot desert climate
167
If this film really annoys you so much just dont watch it. SIMPLE! plenty of ppl will watch it and enjoy it for wat it is.
168
Lindy! Best thing I've read, anywhere, all week! Hilarious! Keep it up! (Ironically, it makes me want to watch the movie now.)
169
I watched the movie last night and I loooooooooooooved it!

170
First of all, that was a witty and brilliant review, Lindy.

I've never ventured near any part of the franchise and would never do so as I simply don't get it.

I would just like to appeal to the defenders that describe it as escapist fun for women with a 'sense of humour'. Please speak for yourselves.

Crap like this obviouls appeals to only a certain breed of women of which I and so many others are not part of.

I like my escapist fun, I watch some chickflicks and I have good sense of humour (enough to appreciate this piece of witty writing) but I have a bottom line and SATC is way below that line.

I know we live in age when commonsense is no longer common but we have the right to call crap crap and you have the right to admit you like crap without claiming we have no sense of humour.
171
:-)
172
I thought the whole point was that this was post-modern satire. We are supposed to laugh at the vacuousness. It is not drama it is comedy!
173
Really? no one thought to call it "Bitchtar"?
174
I'm gay and you must have converted me coz I had an erection the whole time I was reading that! Thanks for a brilliant (and totally accurate!) review.
175
That was awesome. You got yourself a new fan!
176
Great review, great comments. Why didn't I know about this website? Lindy, you frighten me but you also attract me. You're a genius of a writer and a burster of powerful but ultimately insidious illusions and I thank you for that
177
Love, love, love this article.

Re the review: Damn right, I say!

And so much fun to read...
178
thank you so much!!! this was brilliant! Makes me want to print this out and use it as notes when I watch the movie just to have visuals to laugh again and again. ROTF LMAO!!!
179
This may be the best bad-film review of all time. Thanks Lindy
180
Great review, great comments, and why haven't I heard of this website before?!?! Lindy, I fear you, but I also lust after you because you're so god-damn sharp! A great writer and a piercer of those illusions of our age which seem fairly harmless but are in fact quite insidious, in my view. Well done and thanks. And to the person who castigated people for complimenting Ms. West, you disagree. That's fine.
181
Great review, great comments, and why haven't I heard of this website before?!?! Lindy, I fear you, but I also lust after you because you're so god-damn sharp! A great writer and a piercer of those illusions of our age which seem fairly harmless but are in fact quite insidious, in my view. Well done and thanks. And to the person who castigated people for complimenting Ms. West, you disagree. That's fine.
182
It seems that when there is a film where WOMEN have a blatantly criminally expensive lifestyle people get vexed. SATC preaches that WOMEN do not have to apologize for choosing a material life.

No one complains about the hundreds of films where MEN have criminally expensive lifestyle. Ocean's Eleven for example (greedy men in designer suits tiring to steal money). Brad Pitts 'character' laughs about buying another hotel.

Double Standard Alert
183
It seems that when there is a film where WOMEN have a blatantly criminally expensive lifestyle people get vexed. SATC preaches that WOMEN do not have to apologize for choosing a material life.

No one complains about the hundreds of films where MEN have criminally expensive lifestyle. Ocean's Eleven for example (greedy men in designer suits tiring to steal money). Brad Pitts 'character' laughs about buying another hotel.

Double Standard Alert
184
Seriously the best damn review ever, or god i love you Lindy.
185
I'm a gay man and I think you just converted me - I had an erection the whole time I was reading this! Thanks for a brilliant and totally accurate review.
186
Thanks for the review! Now I really can't wait to see this movie.....but then again, I'm a gay man, in the fashion industry, with an extraordinary amount of disposable income...
187
It's just a movie people it's not suppose to save the world....enjoy the funny and the pretty clothes and forget your life for 145 minutes. You want reality watch the news.
188
I agree with most of this review, but not the part about Miranda's storyline. Her boss is not a cartoon - there are SERIOUSLY men like that. She doesn't quit b/c it's bad for her child and she's going to become a stay-at-home-mom. She quits to find a job that respects her as a human being, which she does find at the end and finds very fulfilling. I didn't have a problem with that storyline.

The rest though... yeah.
189
Another message movie from Hollywood covering the completely unexposed oppression of women int he Muslim world. I'm sure for many this will be a utter shock and newsflash of oppression in the Islamic religion.

Thank you to the writers and the actors for putting their careers on the line to create this piece of art to illuminate the issue for all to be aware.

Godspeed, SATC2, may SATC3 cover some other worldly woe. We cannot wait in my family for the next episode of where SATC goes next!

Where's the Nobel committee on this? If an Inconvenient Truth wins one, I cant fathom how they could ignore a serious work like this.
190
Marry me, Lindy West.
191
Take a chill pill bitch, it is just a movie!
I guess fantasy is not in this woman's expansive "mind"
Her idea of a fun movie is probably watching grass grow
192
Wow - what a ragingly misogynistic piece of crap this review is. Seriously - the movie may be shite, but your issues stand out even more, Lindy.
193
Best movie review ever!
194
Please let me congratulate you on such a wonderfully accurate and gorgeously written review.... it should be emailed to every single fan of the franchise immediately..

Let me say that at first I personally thought the first few seasons were great..... use of irony, hilarious, frank, no holds barred comedy about four 30-something women celebrating being single, childless and enjoying their careers and sex-lives as equals to men in a mans world...

HOWEVER....

it quickly and seamlessly turned into the Carrie show, which now featured four thirty-something women consumed by ridiculously and outrageously expensive clothes, lifestyles and who's lives were now INCOMPLETE unless they found 'the one' and conforming to the 2.4 children/white picket fence scenario except on 5th Avenue.

Well guess what, not every woman is white, wealthy, straight, married and maternal.....

What started off as fairly intelligent and diverse writing and very entertaining satirical comedy has completely turned into marshmallow,
diamond encrusted, cocktails and essentially a warped view of what sex, relationships and social status means to the majority of people who have a brain!

p.s. i am a gay man, and agree with Lindy that the gay mafia who write and produce this show have effectively given Sarah Jessica Whatever the fuck her name is, a platform to live out their drag queen fantasies because we all know if Sex and the city would have been four gay guys, it would have never been the success it has been.

So Miss Lindy West, you are my new hero and look forward to reading more of your work :-)
195
"I don't see how you can say this review is not sexist and demeaning. I am a man and many people call me a feminist"

I call you a moron, and your friends are morons as well.

PS: The only thing more insulting and demeaning than T&A fests like Transformers are entitlementfests like SATC2. You're a materialistic, shallow, clown of a person.
196
All of you who said this was the best review ever should go read Lindy's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen review.
197
@192 "Wow - what a ragingly misogynistic piece of crap this review is. Seriously - the movie may be shite, but your issues stand out even more, Lindy."

This movie is "feminist" like the War in Iraq was "humanitarian".
198
Hilarious review, but I could have done without the slap at Cynthia Nixon's partner. :/
199
I had to watch this as part of my work. Just so I got this right Carrie was the villain and in the end she won just like Darth Vader at the end of Empire Strikes Back?

Honestly, it made me want to wage a holy fucking jihad against the west. Or at least the oxygen thieves who make this shit.
200
I have been shouted at, as a man, for my disgust with the Sex and the City series. Told I am being misogynistic for disallowing female 'liberation'. Don't you worry, I despise male moral-free and vapid affairs just as much as this. And if I am told I am wrong, and that I must conform to 'sexual liberation' then this liberation seems awfully like fascism.

This is consumerist, materialist and SEXIST tripe. This is pushing people further under the boot by making them aspire to be this morally vacuous.

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