Let's be honest. The Harry Potter movies—with the exception of Alfonso Cuarón's near-perfect Prisoner of Azkaban, the only installment to realize that a novel is not a screenplay—are DUMB. I will, of course, repeatedly watch the shit out of them, because I am a freakish lady-manchild who loves wizards more than my own family. So guess what, my fellow freakish man- and lady-manchildren (and regular children, too, I guess)? IT IS TIME! J. K. Rowling's super-tense, super-exciting, super-satisfying final volume is being split into two (probably disappointing!) films—the first of which you can now watch at the newly revamped and renovated Cinerama. What were you going to do instead? Hang out with your grandma? WIZARDZ 4 EVER. (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film)