In 1999, Mad Men's Christina "Joan" Hendricks posed for Playboy, and—JESUS CHRIST, CALM DOWN! She's not nude. Can you find her in the picture below? (HINT: She's not the clown.)

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Martha Stewart hit in face by own bulldog. (I have nothing to add to this.)

Failed American Idol judge Kara DioGuardia and soft rocker Jewel are teaming up for a new show on Bravo called, "This Show will Make Your Head Hurt." (Surprise, that's not the actual title.)

Yay! Garfunkel and Oates are signed to get their own sitcom on HBO entitled, "FUCK YOU, KARA DioGUARDIA!!" (Again, that's probably a "working title.")

Alyson "Willow" Hannigan vows to crap on a Joss Whedon-less Buffy remake! So does Seth "Oz" Green!

And finally, a goddamn computer goes head-to-head against Jeorpardy champions FOR THE FATE OF HUMANKIND.

Watch part two here.