Didn't watch the Golden Globes on Sunday night because the Golden Globes are a bigger joke than the Academy Awards and I was doing other things, and there wasn't anything about the Golden Globes on Slog yesterday so I figured they were as unremarkable and what-a-joke as always, but then I got home last night and watched segments on CNN and MSNBC and Fox all about, like, Did Ricky Gervais go too far? So then I called up the opening monologue on the internet and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Couple thoughts:

(1) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

(2) What happened to Johnny Depp? Why did he give up? Why did he have to become another fatuously dressed, offended-at-being-joked-about celebrity?

(3) List of people who get dissed: Charlie Sheen, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Cher, the women in Sex and the City 2 ("Girls, we know how old you are—I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza for Chrissakes"), "some famous Scientologists" (the crowd practically revolts at the Travolta-and-Cruise-are-gay joke), Hugh Hefner, and Mel Gibson. Well done, my man! That's quite a list.

(4) Priceless: Robert DeNiro making a disgusted face at the giving-Hefner-a-handjob joke, and Tiny Fey's grin. They both look amazed—AMAZED!—that the Golden Globes opening monologue is funny.