Over the weekend, a joyous thing happened: Filmgoers stayed the fuck away from I Am Number Four. As I pointed out in my review, it's an exceptionally cynical concept "created" by James Frey on his folksy down-home intellectual property farm. Everything about it felt market-tested to appeal to every "quadrant" of the market, and that made the entire movie feel like an insult. I thought it was going to do really well at the box office, but it looks like it came in at number 3 for the weekend, just above Adam Sandler's aptly titled Just Go with It. You saved me from having to eventually attend the bullshit sequel of this bullshit movie, America, and I appreciate it. Maybe now, James Frey will go away forever.*
- Those sparks are from the bomb that destroyed this franchise.
* Ha-ha, just kidding. The young adult novel the movie is based on is still on the New York Times Best Seller List, which means Frey will live to milk his interns' ideas another day.