with that lead in I expect your review to be 100% stroke worthy, in the sense of that trashy Tudors show on HBO. Totally engorged with anticipation.

I want to read the journal article "The Same Thing We Do Every Night: Signifying Same-Sex Desire in Television Cartoons" but the link in the Wikipedia article is broken.

T_T TOO BLUE.

Wikipedia humor: "Smurfette returned occasionally to the village, though she found that her presence still AROUSED conflict." (caps mine).

Man-sized rape-witch... now I know how to describe myself on dating websites. Thanks, Lindy!

"Let's take a picture so we can always remember the day we 'spilled the blue paint'..."

I can't wait to see this redone for the new Grimm TV show this fall!

when i was in 9th grade, my old man english teacher told me that because i didn't have blond hair and blue eyes no man was ever going to give me a second look.

wish i was joking but i'm not! i've always kinda hoped that maybe it was intended to be humorous or something else, but he said it with a straight face and never made any attempt to undo it, so i'm pretty sure he meant it. awesome.

the Smurfs are a racist dictatorship:

http://boingboing.net/2011/06/07/racism-…

What color is a Smurf's cum?

Smurfette was magically created from clay by the Smurfs' enemy, Gargamel, so that she would use her charms to cause jealousy and competition among the Smurfs in order to cause their fall.

Bitches man!

Even before I read Lindy's undoubtedly scathing review tomorrow, I can't think of anything that could possibly make me see this movie.

I got 99 smurfs and a Smurfette ain't one.

I heard they removed Vanity Smurf - - the only gay Smurf - - -from the movie.

Smurfette has sex with all the Smurfs while Papa Smurf watches the sex videos and jerks off. Don't believe me, see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qACNqaEkH…

@2 is this the article you are seeking? http://www.icce.rug.nl/~soundscapes/VOLU…

@15: Smurf village was rampant with situational male homosexuality given the scarcity of smurf pussy.

I'm so glad you're writing this Lindy!

It became obvious that this movie is going to suck when they use Tone Loc's "Wild Thing" song for the TV commercial.

I never let my kids watch the smurfs when they were little. Never let them watch Barney either.

@17, that was great fun to read. Thank you!

@17: Cheers!

I think this pretty much answers any lingering questions you might have:

http://hongkongcavaliers.tumblr.com/post…

How do Smurfs make love? They Smuck.

Two words never meant to be next to one another: "Smurf pussy".

I appreciate this article, but there is one thing I must point out. A female being introduced to males in order to cause them to fail is not biblical, it's mythological. In Hesiod's "Theogony", he says that Pandora was the cause of all problems, not her box. She was sent to cause men to have hardships. That she was dressed up by the goddesses Aphrodite and Athena to make her more attractive and therefore more devastating. The Judo-Christian tradition holds that females were introduced to be a partner to man, and to help him. (Even if there are non-cannonical myths that say that God screwed that one up twice before finally creating Eve). That Eve then did cause for them to be expelled from the Garden of Eden was not God's intent.

Biblical, mythological... same thing.