Whatever you are paid, it cannot be nearly enough.

@1: For. Real.

I feel sorry for movie critics who have to watch Three Musketeers and Robin Hood movies over and over and over again. Each time "re-imagined," each time progressively shittier than the previous attempt.

This review is full of all the win there is today.

There's no more win. Return to your shanties.

I have decoded your secret message:

d'Artagnan's d'Ad, Cardinal Richelieu, [is]
dressed up in velvet like Kim Cattrall's vagina, hella mad at a fancy prostitute['s] fancier corpse-hole.

It always comes back to Kim Cattrall's vagina.

Dibs on the Cattrall costume.

Damn, and I was hoping for a review of Harold & Kumar: Christmas 3-D instead ...

you took a big hit on my personal stranger popularity chart by moving to LA and goldy was primed to take your spot at #2 -- i'm sure you care so much.

but then this metaphor... this fucking metaphor.

<3

Me love you long time.

And now I wanna be in a band called d'Artagnan's d'Ad. Though I'm pretty sure that band already exists and is called the Decemberists.

@3 - rodolfo got the last little bit of win there was to be had today with that post @4.

I am having the absolute worst day and thought, "Not even Lindy West can fix this."

Then "SWORDY-BLOKES" happened and my frown has indeed turned upside-down.

i knew a brother named d'Artagnan .. d'Artagnan gunn. his mom went to my church ( she was the choir director..and by the way our organist's name was ernest cannon.. and i had a babysitter whose name was virginia slaughter..freud would have a field day with MY childhood ) none of the church ladies could pronounce d'Artagnan so half of them wouldn't talk to him,the other half called him 'd'otagnan' having not read dumas, cause they all mostly read only the bible, nobody could figure out why she gave him that name.