Please Don't Go See Act of Valor

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And SIFF promoted this with the offer of a free screening a few weeks ago.

Shame on you, SIFF. You'd better run this year's festival an extra week to make up for it.

seatackled on February 24, 2012 at 9:31 PM

Liberal media bias against America just hates freedom don't know what true patriotism looks like should be nominated for best picture if you love your country and if not go back to Europe stupid just what Stalin would have said why do you hate eagles

Zebes on February 24, 2012 at 10:29 PM

Another piece of military-industrial-complex propaganda aimed at those who think true patriotism involves supporting whatever vile action our corporate/banking-controlled government perpetrates against anyone who stands in the way of their New World Order. Whew! That was a mouthful.

XygyX on February 24, 2012 at 10:39 PM

Whatever. Freedom hating liberals have no sense of humor.

Are there any good drinking game rules for this movie yet?

Neurotic Cat on February 24, 2012 at 11:12 PM

@2 (Zebes): Thanks for making me smile! Well done!

PCM on February 24, 2012 at 11:26 PM

So, you're saying it's a movie Obama would endorse?

LJM on February 24, 2012 at 11:27 PM

Even the trailer is a better recruiting tool than any ad the Navy has produced in a decade or more. This film is the most obvious piece of propaganda I've seen in 30 years. Or, rather, not seen, since I have no intentions of going to this.

Reverse Polarity on February 25, 2012 at 12:14 AM

This is news?

Hollywood has been producing shit for a long time. This film seems no different than the usual dreck they wheel out on a regular basis.

I guess they got something right though since they got your attention on something that deserves none.

This disappoints me Paul. Why are you bothering with this typical Hollywood throwaway nonsense and treating it like it actually means something?

Urgutha Forka on February 25, 2012 at 12:29 AM

Orwellian propaganda film. 90-Minute Hate.

Karlheinz Arschbomber on February 25, 2012 at 1:04 AM

Here's my new pet peeve in movies (besides jingoism...oo, nasty).

Bearer bonds.

Bearer bonds are the Pecunia ex deus of movies involving capers, crimes, kidnappings, extortion and host of other plot devices that somehow require large amounts of money to not only fit into Kevlar vests, but also to be untraceable (as in The Panic Room which I just finished watching)...so movies with incredibly convoluted plots can somehow not unravel at the end ("yeah, but what happens when they spend it").

Fortunately bearer bonds were for all practical purposes outlawed in 1982 and the existing ones all expire by 2013. Even now, only a few places will cash them, so good luck masterminds getting in and out.

Along with the ubiquitous presence of cell phones, the elimination of bearer bonds may cause Hollywood to actually employ creativity for the action-thrillers of the 10s.

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on February 25, 2012 at 1:39 AM

@10 so diamonds then? Really easy to sell at an ok cost on the black market, 99% of them are completely untracable, they weigh next to nothing and there are allot of forgiving buyers for them that will keep you anonymous.

JensR on February 25, 2012 at 2:04 AM

snow patrol!

mr. herriman on February 25, 2012 at 2:55 AM

So...you're saying Top Gun was a better recruiting tool for the US military? 'Cause I wanted to join the Navy after the volleyball scene!!!

Cato the Younger Younger on February 25, 2012 at 4:36 AM

#11

My one experience with diamonds is that they are a one way buying process. You can never resell them at anything near what you buy them for from a "licensed" juror because the price is set by and demand is controlled by the industry.

Also above a certain caliber or price they are just as much registered with paperwork identifying the cut and characteristics and I imagine they can be tracked as cash.

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on February 25, 2012 at 5:30 AM

Jeez, Paul, could you try any harder to get me into the theater?

Do you think I'm going to let this impressive pile of drugs just go to waste?

robotslave on February 25, 2012 at 6:28 AM

Curious, the ads say something like "filmed with real bullets and real guns and real explosions and stuff, Fuck Yeah!"

So I assumed it was a pro-US documentary, sort of the opposite of any number of docs that came out recently, such as Restrepo.

But there's actually a plot? Is it fictional then? Did they splice footage of real soldiers killin' people into staged scenes filmed to follow some fictional plot? How is this film made, I must know!

Dr_Awesome on February 25, 2012 at 7:37 AM

@16

NPR had a review, which was gentler than this one--I think their main criticism was that these guys couldn't act. Anyway, I think they reported "real ammo" part was when they filmed scenes of the seals training.

seatackled on February 25, 2012 at 7:46 AM

Teem AmeriKKKa: World Po-leece

Original Andrew on February 25, 2012 at 7:50 AM

Why do I have a funny feeling that this post will get more people into the theater to watch it than it will keep away?

Me, I'll wait til it comes out on DVD.

Fifty-Two-Eighty on February 25, 2012 at 7:55 AM

Sounds like every action movie ever made.

giffy on February 25, 2012 at 7:55 AM

Sometimes it is like the proverbial train wreck and you simply can't look away. The trailers for this film clearly play to a certain audience type. But someone has to see it in order to write a witty derisive review. And it provides the opportunity for people to recall their favorite action movie memes (see 10) which provide additional points of amusement.

lauramae on February 25, 2012 at 8:24 AM

Loved the Onion A.V. headline for their review: "Casting real-life Navy SEALS as actors goes about as well as if the opposite had happened. "

Says it all.

Daily in LA on February 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM

America, fuck yeah!

suddenlyorcas on February 25, 2012 at 9:05 AM

The could be a review for The Hurt Locker.

Most recent "military" movies that take home all those golden statues ARE EXACTLY military propaganda. The United States armed forces is another form of government welfare that incubates homophobia, racism, and sexism.

But hey, we gotta protect our freedoms from all those brown people right?! RIGHT!??!!

GlamB0t on February 25, 2012 at 9:17 AM

*This could be....

GlamB0t on February 25, 2012 at 9:19 AM

I've actually seen this movie. Really. I had to watch it for technical/work related reasons, but I was hoping to at least be entertained in the process. I'm considering quitting my job over it.
It. is. that. bad.
Seriously. It's awful, and I don't mind an action movie or a propaganda movie, or even witnessing the occasional trainwreck of a movie. This one? Just bad. Don't even bother seeing it for the curiosity factor. It's just annoyingly bad. It's like watching someone else play a video game at full volume while you have the worst hangover of your life.
Please don't misinterpret this as a dare to see this movie, I'm completely serious that this movie is so bad that it shouldn't even be allowed to come out on DVD.

SPG on February 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM

This is kind of a bigoted article. Liberal people can't support the members of the military? I have many friends that are in the army and marines, and I support them.

I also vote democrat.

Parmenides on February 25, 2012 at 10:06 AM

@28.. honey.. this is only a movie. have some tea.

reverend dr dj riz on February 25, 2012 at 10:51 AM

Hey, remember when Constant and Frizzelle joined the chorus of a bunch of other ignorami and cheered the death of another human being--in the process showing how far superior Americans are to any brown folks who might cheer our deaths?

IOKIYAO.

dirac on February 25, 2012 at 10:55 AM

@all the military fanboys, This isn't about the military. It's about a movie portraying the military in such a stupid way that it's unwatchable. Compare this movie to something like Blackhawk Down. It's still a good action movie, it has decent acting, it has a point, and a lot of the "brown people" get killed without anyone really giving a shit.
Act of Valor is just stupid. There's nothing there beyond the shooting, so why not just play a video game instead?
Beyond the movie, it's unpatriotic to have blind faith in any aspect of the government. It's our duty as citizens to hold our leaders and our military to constant scrutiny. Remember that we are a country founded on the ideal of the citizens being in charge. When the military does well, then they get our respect. When they fuck up we should hold them to account for it. Any less is undemocratic.

SPG on February 25, 2012 at 11:06 AM

Freedom isn't free
No there's a hefty fuckin' fee
And if you don't throw in your Twelve Fifty,
Who will?

JonnoN on February 25, 2012 at 11:13 AM

God knows I'm not a military fanboi—in fact, I went out of my way to dodge the draft during the Vietnam war. But there's just something so "special" about The Paultard's knee-jerk reaction to this that makes me want to see it. Or kick him in the nuts. Or both.

Fifty-Two-Eighty on February 25, 2012 at 11:17 AM

@28 Please show me some evidence that says without Navy SEALs we would all be doomed. After your tea of course.

GlamB0t on February 25, 2012 at 11:27 AM

I have nothing against the military. I am in fact a veteran. I served 8 years. That does not require me to uncritically love every movie featuring military characters ever made. There have been great military-themed movies in the past. This isn't one. Even the trailer looks bad. It is nothing more than a jingoistic 100 minute recruiting film, and a poorly done one at that.

Reverse Polarity on February 25, 2012 at 11:34 AM

I don't see how this is different than any other action movie, other than the acting is not up to the same standard. And of course the enemy is brown, that who our main enemy is right now. Which is why in the 80s and early 90s you had a bunch of action movies where the Russians were the enemies? What color are Russians again?

Democrat1234 on February 25, 2012 at 12:00 PM

There was a military funeral up on Greenwood today. Folded flag triangle on the coffin in the back of the hearse. Made me sad for pointless wars, and pointless wars to come.

Fnarf on February 25, 2012 at 2:20 PM

@2
@28

called it

Zebes on February 25, 2012 at 3:17 PM

Anyone DUMB nough to want to join the military should be allowed to - Bill Hicks

on February 25, 2012 at 3:57 PM

@36 Christ, just die in a fire already.

OuterCow on February 25, 2012 at 4:24 PM

If Atlas Shrugged had made money, it would have proven one, you don't need actors, and two, the kind of tools who like this shit can carry a film at the box office. Which would have made Acts of Valor a good bet.

But since we all knew that not hiring actors is a huge mistake and there are not enough drooling apes to fill theaters, why the hell did they make this thing?

on February 25, 2012 at 4:32 PM

#40 is not merely awesome, but ailuropodine awesome.

seatackled on February 25, 2012 at 4:46 PM

@28,

Punctuation marks go immediately after the last character they follow. Commas too. Like this, for example. Exclamation points! Precious few exceptions, really. Deal with it, dumb fuck.

mikethehammer on February 25, 2012 at 5:02 PM

@44, the thing is, you appear here as you write here, and by your completely illiterate and frankly stupid writings you appear to be illiterate and stupid. You write like someone who's never seen a keyboard before; so why should anyone be interested in what you have to say?

If you are paralyzed and write these comments with your toes, I apologize.

Fnarf on February 25, 2012 at 11:13 PM

Fnarf assumes @44 is white and therefore bound to a standard.

Culturally insensitive much, Fnarf?

on February 26, 2012 at 8:46 AM

@ 44 -

You type exactly like my racist grandfather speaks after too much Geritol and Wild Turkey. Which is to say, awesome.

the_spiral on February 26, 2012 at 12:09 PM

The biggest grift ever pulled on anybody is convincing them that going to war is cool.

We took a single isolated attack, and used it as an excuse to ruin millions of innocent people's lives and end hundreds of thousands more. That's the kind of behavior that earns movie villains a long slow-motion fall from a tall building or flying aircraft.

I have no interest in watching a movie about a villain's deluded lackeys fighting another villain's deluded lackeys.

Thanks for the review though.

Fish Wrench Asteroid on February 26, 2012 at 2:52 PM

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

on February 26, 2012 at 3:22 PM

@ 40 What did I do to you?

Democrat1234 on February 26, 2012 at 3:33 PM

Looking forward to seeing it. Thanks for the review confirming I will probably like the movie.

bornhere on February 26, 2012 at 8:53 PM

Act of Valor started out as a short that was supposed to be used as a recruitment tool for the SEALS. Not sure how it ended up being a feature length film.. Anyway the plot/story is just a means to and end kinda like the plot/story of a typical porno. People typically watch porn for the sex scenes and don't really care about the underlying story. Act of Valor is supposed to be a way of showing SEALS being badasses...the underlying story is irrelevant. The SEALS are trying to boost the number of minorities in their ranks so I was kinda surprised the Black and Latino SEALS didn't have more prominent roles in the underlying story.

jackrabbit96707 on February 26, 2012 at 10:44 PM

most A-grade military movies will be filmed (in part) on military bases with military personnel. hamburger hill, platoon and oodles and boodles more as its a relation.

Even the Horror classic "Alien" had the actors on military bases picking up military personality's and culture. The android the Marines the Company that wanted to exploit the Aliens were all twists of the American war machine as a whole.

one of the best War movies and one of the best Horror movies Alien proves that research and details and imagination are far better tools than budget and product placement and star power when it comes to film.

slade on February 27, 2012 at 12:25 PM

If I'm going to watch pornography I prefer it to have fucking.

No way was The Hurt Locker pro-military propaganda. If The Hurt Locker made you WANT to join the military you are a terrifying person.

McGee on February 27, 2012 at 3:29 PM

Macho Cheese.

SPG on February 29, 2012 at 1:36 PM

I don't understand why they are portraying Pilipino people as terrorist . Philippines is a Christian nation that hold Israel and American dear to their heart. This is somewhat offensive.

on March 11, 2012 at 8:33 PM

The shitiest shit ever filmed. Extremely racist movie!! i just cant believe this movie exists.

on May 19, 2012 at 7:21 PM

I think your full of sh__! I just watched Act of Valor and thought it was excellent

These guys put their lives on the line everyday

Perhaps you should go join them? Betcha you'd be cowering behind them begging for protection

on July 20, 2012 at 6:50 PM

Lol I don't get it what part about being a killing machine don't you get. Navy seals aren't supposed to have emotion , they do their job and do their best to stay emotionless I think it was right on the ball. And you just sound like some liberal asshole. You have no right to even say " our boys" their not your boys and if they had a chance they'd probably throw you under a bus don't ever talk about our soldiers who give you the right... Same type of soldiers who fought for your write to write your stupid article. These people and their families deserve your deepest respect...............THOSE WHO CAN'T, CRITIQUE....remember that you worthless critic

on October 26, 2012 at 11:15 PM

You are really dumb, aren't you. The names of the SEALs in the credits aren't "paraded" across the screen. The movie is honoring the unsung heroes who have kept this country safe. Also, the SEALs in the movie aren't supposed to be Hollywood actors, they are telling their story as it is. SEALs are not dramatic. They are often regular men, with a will to succeed like no other. They have covered your ass so many times, and you don't even know it. The SEAL who threw himself on the grenade got that idea when he saw a teammate do that exact thing during a real mission. You are a heartless asshole who doesn't deserve to live amongst these heroes.

Benjamin97 on December 4, 2012 at 7:51 AM

I loved every minute. You say they can't act, guess what, they are not acting. These heroes deserve respect, and sadly the hate America crowd can't understand that. They would much rather follow the idiots on Jersey Shore or talk about "teen mom's" sex tape. The very fact that somebody would criticize this movie is mind boggling. If after watching you don't take a minute to reflect on the sacrifice that so, so many brave AMERICANS have made and continue to make to preserve and protect our freedoms, then you truly don't get it. The story line doesn't matter. The only thing you need to say after watching this film is thank you. Thank you to everybody who has served the greatest nation for personal freedoms the world has ever known. To the critics, whether you realize it or not, you're nothing but a leech living off of the people whom you despise.

Goldfishn on May 3, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Please Don't Go See Act of Valor

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