Oh no! Not a movie about "white people"! How terrible. Who would want to watch that?

But seriously, what the fuck is this review? And how do I get paid to write such drivel?

Really disappointed in The Stranger for posting this nonsense.
This is a film review?
Listen, I'm basically the mayor of Slog. This review is perfectly acceptable bullshit. Kudos!
This really does have to be the worst movie review I have ever read. Protip: a movie review is supposed to contain opinions on the quality of the movie, not consist entirely of a micro-synopsis, four mentions of the fact that the characters are omg white people, and then a suggestion to go see it because "I don't know, because they're attractive?"

Maybe this is some kind of stealth bad review that's supposed to discourage me from seeing the movie because the review is so utterly uninteresting. I don't know. I think you just didn't do your job.
Why such emphasis on the characters' race? There was something in your tone that seemed a bit weird as you repeatedly stressed it...sort of like that point when a mean drunk is half a drink away from being a total jerk.
Hi Elinor! Thank you for letting me know that famous actor Jason Schwartzman plays a white man in this movie. I was worried his character might be a black woman, and I think that would have been bad casting.
You guys canned Paul Constant, whose work as a reviewer was at least coherent and thoughtful, for this drivel? This is not even high school newspaper-level writing. I seriously think my nine-year old kid could do better work.

I meant to say, you canned Constant and replaced him with this.

Ah, fuck it. Who cares.
OK, so I won't go see it. Geez!
It is all the more disappointing because at least one person whose opinion I respect, Dan Savage, who had Swartzman on the Lovecast this week, thought that the movie had some smart things to say about adult sexuality. There is no mention of the dialog and dynamics that takes place between white people who want to fuck each other in this review. I think that at least some of us wold be interested in that.
Anti-hipster is the new hipster.
Now that Cameron Crowe has tried to pass Emma Stone as a part-Asian woman, I believe it's perfectly legitimate for Elinor Jones to point out that these ostensibly white actors are playing ostensibly white people. I also believe it's the mark of a great reviewer to distract, alienate, and antagonize their audience by sprinkling their reviews with oddly superior non sequiturs that appear to be ham-fisted attempts at marking one's cultural territory. I mean, seriously, who ever reads a movie review to try to decide whether they want to see a movie?
I just decided that I really want to see a movie written for and about white people, maybe a run of the mill rom-com, but completely cast with black people for no goddamn reason except to make people wonder what is black about this movie. They should use no black stereotypes, idioms, or cultural references. They should be white people played by black people, but played straight, not as a gag (no carlton from fresh prince here, bitches). This is a great fucking idea for reasons I cannot articulate.

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