Aokigahara, or Japan’s suicide forest, is a real place at the base of Mount Fuji where people go to die. It’s full of icy caverns, and the trees are so thick and the forest so vast that no sound can enter or escape. Dozens of bodies are discovered in it each year—but many remain tucked away in the forest, undisturbed, save for the passing of suicidal visitors and tourists obsessed with the macabre. In Wataru Tsurumui’s The Complete Manual of Suicide, it’s described as “the perfect place.”

This forest is the setting of The Sea of Trees, the latest project of Gus Van Sant (Drugstore Cowboy, Good Will Hunting, and Milk, among many others). With such a compelling premise the film might have worked as pure horror/thriller, but unfortunately, the product is all overwrought drama, hokey mysticism, and “gotcha!” plotlines.

The story follows a man named Arthur (Matthew McConaughey) who takes a plane from the United States to Japan so that he can kill himself in this magical place. He meets another man (Ken Watanabe) who is lost in the forest. For a moment, I thought they were making a point about empathy—how people longing for death wouldn’t wish it on a friend, or even a stranger—but instead, they decided to emphatically stress the paradox of a suicidal person fighting for survival.

Throughout, the film is hindered by its terrible writing. The dialogue and voice-overs are cheesy, embarrassing, and often seem incoherent—despite their hard-fought attempt to tie up every single loose end in the narrative. (The Cannes premiere was met with boos and cruel laughter.) It’s only 110 minutes long but drags on for what seems like a lifetime. And the final nail in its coffin: Absolutely no one wants to watch a bad drama about suicide.