Valerian Is the Fifth Element Follow-Up You've Been Waiting For


Ugh. I went to this movie, and deeply regretted it. He enjoys an active and varied sex life, but she just wants a guy that will commit. They both get captured by the same aliens, but she is forced to wear sexy dresses while he shoots his way out and is required by the plot to go to a red light district and watch a sex show (red light district is populated almost entirely by human woman, except the people in charge of course. She keeps referring to 'women' as some monolithic group that is mysterious and hard to understand. The POC sex slave died to save the white protagonists, but she can die happy because it seems like the most important thing to her emotionally was pleasing a guy with her sex show. ALL the leaders were men. Almost all the characters were men. Most of the aliens code as male. The pearl people just seemed like Na'vi knock-offs. They even used the same gesture. I wanted to punch this movie, and I don't consider myself all that radical. It felt like a bad throwback, not the future.
"One thing that feels not just futuristic but legitimately progressive is Valerian’s inclusion of alien cultures, not just as cool monsters to ogle but as characters whose cooperation must be sought and safeguarded. " OMG. Really? "Legitimately progressive" space aliens in their video game adventure show,,,, I just heard Pauline Kael groan and roll over in her grave,,,
I saw it and enjoyed it. But thought the Valerian actor was a terrible choice. Adapting SciFi/Fantasy comics is always going to be a challenge. Especially adapting the often times brutally stupid dialogue.
I've seen the trailer and yes, it does look like a video game, with a couple of boring expressionless actors in the lead roles. But then I'm old and come from a time when humans were able to move their faces and enunciate. I would watch this if it came on TV and I was simultaneously looking at shoes for sale on the laptop.
Oh God, I just figured it out. I went back to read the review again and studied the accompanying photo - it looks like a couple of random celebs at Burning Man. No wonder my brain shut down.