There will be people who say that the Ocean’s 11 franchise is ruined now that it stars women. To them I say: What’s it like to be joyless? Because (1) Heist movies are always good, and (2) it’s not like the Ocean’s movies were Citizen fucking Kane. This spin-off builds off of an already-insane universe and incorporates women’s empowerment and beautiful jewelry. What’s not to like?!
I’ll spare you a plot rundown and repeat: heist! They’re gonna rob the damn Met Gala. Now allow me to say more great things, starting with the cast: Sandy Bullock. (George Clooney and I call her Sandy.) Cate Blanchett. Mindy Kaling. Sarah Paulson. Anne Hathaway. Awkwafina. Helena Bonham Carter. R I H A N N A. Not to make it all about looks, but Ocean’s 8 looks fucking awesome. I’d love to possess every single one of the haircuts, coats, and snacks featured in the film. And I’m delighted to share that Anne Hathaway is the most delightful part of a very delightful movie! Anyone want to get in on the ground floor of the Annaissance with me? Yeah, you do!
Of course, as in life, women here have to work harder and do more with less (there’s only eight of them!), which can weigh the film down a bit: Gone are the quick cuts and illogical sleights of hand from Steven Soderbergh's Ocean's movies, and in their place is a well-considered production with scenes that are a little too long and a payout that’s a little too clear. Boys just get to have fun, and women have to be smart and efficient. Lame! Also, this film got so referential to the other Ocean's that it felt more like a tribute than a spinoff. Enough with the dudes! We’re here for the gala and the high crime! I just want to watch women supporting women and winning!
Thankfully, there’s still plenty of that, and I’d watch sequel after sequel of these ladies getting shit done. I could see this universe continuing in reverse numerical order until eventually we have Ocean’s 1, which will just be Oprah counting money. And I will watch it. And it will be good.