Can I tell you about my Lord and Savior, Kanopy? It's an on-demand streaming service that has all the good shit that Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon ignores. I discovered it about a year ago when I clumsily clicked on Belladonna of Sadness while high on an edible and proceeded to have an eyegasm while also getting eternally fucked up from those violent assault scenes. Cool it, Eiichi Yamamoto. But the best part of Kanopy? It's a service Seattle Public Library cardholder's get FOR FREE. (Lots of other library systems offer Kanopy, too.)

Last night, I watched Museo director Alonso Ruizpalacios's earlier film, Güeros. Recently, I blew through all three films in the Decline of Western Civilization collection (although I found out you can watch them for free on YouTube, so I felt a bit duped). Kanopy's selection is so much better than that middling stale piss they peddle over on Netflix. Kanopy has around 50 titles from the Criterion Collection, and, as of last week, almost everything from A24's collection (72 of them, but not Hereditary or Eighth Grade).

This is what its homepage looks like:

YOU SEE ALL THOSE A24 FILMS!? Damn! Go watch Laurie Metcalf be everyone's favorite mom in Lady Bird!

Also, you notice that "1" in the corner? That's how many plays I have left this month. ONE! I KNOW! It's not a lot! You have to be very INTENTIONAL with your choices. I know, it's difficult! I started out with FIVE plays, which is what we get each month through the Seattle Public Library. That's not a bunch, but you can do what I do and con your boyfriend and roommate into setting up an account and then steal all of their plays so you get FIFTEEN plays per month. Oh, what's that? Don't have a boyfriend? Roommate? That's your problem, Lester. Dogs can't get library cards, yet.

Here are some recommendations to start you off. And have you looked outside? It's the fucking Pineapple Express out there! That rain is juicy! Spend your night blowing through your five Kanopy plays before the month is over and your plays renew.