Film/TV May 4, 2011 at 4:00 am

Concessions

The Beaver

Lindy West
Back to article

Comments

1
Editor to reporter: "Mel Gibson Licks Beaver": That's not news! However....
Chris H on May 4, 2011 at 1:08 PM Report this
2
This is the best thing that's happened to me all week, and I even got to have sex two days ago.
asher on May 4, 2011 at 1:27 PM Report this
3
This is the best thing that's happened to me all week, and I had sex on Monday.

What, I'm not allowed to brag a little?
asher on May 4, 2011 at 1:28 PM Report this
4
great now i feel stupid, thanks a lot, internet.
asher on May 4, 2011 at 1:30 PM Report this
5
**SPOILER ALERT FOR DYSLEXICS***

Was Gnikcuf a htiw ffo mra nwo sih stuc eh?
on May 4, 2011 at 1:51 PM Report this
6
That is the most amazing way to reveal an ending to a movie!
TripleX on May 4, 2011 at 2:48 PM Report this
7
oh my god, lindy. this is gold. you've outdone yourself once again!
ingopixel on May 4, 2011 at 2:54 PM Report this
8
This is the most amazing thing I've heard all week!

(And I heard Asher had sex on Monday too..)
Timrrr on May 4, 2011 at 5:57 PM Report this
9
Another great review from Lindy! I am honestly so freaking sick of movies about how hard it is to be a white guy, but luckily they have a lady by their side to help them through it. It's the plot of, like, every single. fucking. movie. made. today. Fuck Hollywood.
mitten on May 4, 2011 at 6:24 PM Report this
10
NO FUCKING WAY! Really?? Don't tease me! I never have sex and I never will again. This is all I live for - does he really do that??

If it's true I am going to be first in line.
patrick66 on May 4, 2011 at 6:37 PM Report this
11
This is so much better than the sex I had with asher on Monday!
brian on May 4, 2011 at 6:39 PM Report this
12
sad face. I don't get it.
olechka on May 4, 2011 at 6:42 PM Report this
14
This is the best thing all week, and I had sex with asher three times.
Matt Hickey on May 4, 2011 at 7:06 PM Report this
15
Asher! Asher! Rah rah rah!

(That's SO much more interesting than the silly movie!)
Sachi on May 4, 2011 at 7:08 PM Report this
16
Eh, I went to a free preview of it the other night and it was fairly enjoyable. It's not a terrible movie thus doesn't seem worthy of Lindy's endless bag o' jokes. But it fell apart towards the end (and not because of the spoiler Lindy revealed) and the side story with the son and girl basically stays flat.

How can you diss a movie that has a brief cameo by Terry Gross?

In hindsight though, not much happens in this movie.

Also, was the beaver already in the dumpster as Lindy implies or was it part of what he tossed out? I was under the impression it was an item from his past (and thus had some meaning to him).
stinkbug on May 4, 2011 at 7:18 PM Report this
17
god.. i'd see this if he chews his arm off at the end..i'd totally pay to see him do that.
reverend dr dj riz on May 4, 2011 at 7:30 PM Report this
18
Best review evAR.
STJA on May 4, 2011 at 7:33 PM Report this
19
Wait a second. Is this movie ripping off the Conky episodes of the Trailer Park Boys?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuNPrYXNz…
Irena on May 4, 2011 at 9:31 PM Report this
20
You fucking need to be on Ebert's new show.
Simone on May 4, 2011 at 10:10 PM Report this
21
Gee Beav, cut it out.
freesandbags on May 4, 2011 at 11:01 PM Report this
22
spoiler alert he cuts his arm off with a saw. i don't know what centaurs and imps have to do with anything.
seattlestew on May 4, 2011 at 11:16 PM Report this
23
I armed myself with this information for fucking Asher on Monday when I saw "The Beaver." I tried to tell Asher during the refractory periods but he cut me off.
on May 5, 2011 at 2:40 AM Report this
24
This needs to be the officially sanctioned method for spoiler revelation in all movie reviews by all critics.
singing cynic on May 5, 2011 at 3:09 AM Report this
25
I heart Centaur Spoilers ™. That is all.
Lissa on May 5, 2011 at 8:21 AM Report this
26
Sesame Street meets Aaron Ralston. Gross.
rinohog on May 5, 2011 at 8:38 AM Report this
27
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Once again, Lindy, I love you.
Josh Bomb on May 5, 2011 at 11:14 AM Report this
28
ps I was rooting for the Wizards.

Fuck centaurs.
Josh Bomb on May 5, 2011 at 11:17 AM Report this
29
I'd pay 10 bucks to watch Mel-the-Shit saw his arm off, but only if it was real. Thanks again for laugh, Lindy.
OutInBumF on May 5, 2011 at 11:27 AM Report this
30
I hope the last scene is him taking his reunited family rock climbing or surfing.
Stinky Pete on May 5, 2011 at 1:24 PM Report this
31
EYE LUFF EWE, LINDEEEEE!!
merry on May 5, 2011 at 2:37 PM Report this
33
I don't know what I liked better, the reveal or the phrase "the Helen Keller of baby oysters." Both are PFG.
ron_in_PDX on May 5, 2011 at 8:56 PM Report this
35
Lindy's writing is the tastiest thing on the intermet, and congratulations to Asher.
MacGruber on May 6, 2011 at 8:40 PM Report this
36
Can somebody explain "Signs" to me in the form of a Centaur story? Cuz I can't stand to watch it again. I did not have sex on Monday. I may have had sex on A Monday. But maybe not.
plocktontraveller on May 7, 2011 at 2:28 AM Report this
37
The Beaver Plot Summary: Mel Gibson goes crazy, sticks his hand in a beaver. Jodie Forster first loves Mel's Beaver, but then starts to hate Mel's beaver. Jodie shows Mel her box, wants Mel to choose her box over his beaver. Mel, seeing Jodie's box flips out, wants to stay with his beaver. More stuff happens, eventually Mel hates his beaver and love Jodie's box, family is saved, the end.
j2patter on May 7, 2011 at 10:08 PM Report this
38
Thanks for saving me a few bucks, Lindy! You're the best.
LizzieVeg on May 8, 2011 at 7:57 PM Report this
40
So hang on... an actual beaver? A primarily nocturnal, large, semi-aquatic rodent of the genus Castor? Stuck to his arm? For the entire movie?

I don't see how that can be spoiled, because it doesn't make any sense to me. :(
Joseph in London on May 9, 2011 at 3:55 AM Report this
41
I will cut this beaver off my arm...

but you will blow me first.

Actually, the spoiler would have been cooler if the beaver had been attached to Mad Mel's head instead of his arm.
Urgutha Forka on May 10, 2011 at 1:35 PM Report this
42
I will cut this beaver off my arm...

but you will blow me first.

Actually, the spoiler would have been cooler if the beaver had been attached to Mad Mel's head instead of his arm.

Oh, and great review as always Lindy! The Helen Keller of baby oysters... win!
Urgutha Forka on May 10, 2011 at 1:35 PM Report this
45
Yeah, my husband took me to this thinking it would be unintentionally hilarious. It was actually just boring.
Amanda on May 11, 2011 at 9:09 AM Report this

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview
Posted by (your name here)

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.

More In Film/TV

Disney's Visually Impressive Animation Series Iwájú Might Be Too Realistic About Lagos
Film Review: Love Lies Bleeding Is a Bold Newcomer to the Erotic Thriller Canon
Stranger Suggests: Cat Power Sings Dylan, Eric Kim, Massive: The Power of Pop Culture, Squatters’ Cinema, and Free Daffodils
Leave the World Behind Is, as Usual, About a World We Do Not Want to Leave Behind
Film Review: Todd Haynes's May December Is a Lifetime Movie With a Semiotics Degree
Six Films You Need to See at Make Believe Seattle

Editors' Picks

Vote “Approved” on King County’s Crisis Care Centers Levy
New First Hill Tower Shows Affordable Housing Doesn't Have to Be Ugly
The Satanic and Satisfying Pleasure of Being Passive Aggressive
The Downtown Jail Is Overflowing
Washington’s War on Drugs Starts Up Again in July
Seattle Is the Anti-Fashion Capital of the World
The Stranger
is a proud member of the media network
Masthead Ad Info & Rates Jobs at The Stranger Contact Privacy Policy Terms of Use Takedown Policy Find The Stranger Near You
Support The Stranger
All contents © Index Newspapers LLC
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134