Helen Mirren's battle cry? I am so there...

funny you should mention the screenwriter and not the author of the book for putting in the nuance, but at least one can't say you faked interest in the movie this time.

What a horrid, horrid movie. A minute into it and I wanted to choke myself. The girl is helpless, no lesson is learned, the plot is surprisingly predictable, and most characters have the wit, foresight, and overall wisdom of a rather slow cinder block. The main villain is hardly scary (he's bald and he wears black? How original! He likes to burn books? Spooooky), and neither are his henchmen, who are, predictably, the biggest bumbling idiot minions this side of an episode of Looney Toons, only Looney Toons was and continues to be hilarious. These were just sad, unfunny tertiary comic relief clowns who wielded guns which never went off and swords so fake, would make a child grimace with embarrassment if ever he were to use it in a Halloween outfit.

Don't expect much in terms of intelligence from any of the characters, since all of the lines are so forced that the CGI unicorn was more realistic than the script. Oh, didn't I mention the unicorn? Right, well, it has about thirty seconds of screen time, along with a lot of badly-rendered CGI versions of all of your favorite storybook animals. Of course, they're all the good guys, and all of the bad guys are spooky thugs with writing all over their faces. I could have- no, wait, I DID basically predict with scarily accurate detail the rest of the movie after nothing but a 30-second commercial and the first sentence of the movie.

This movie is a piece of trash. Please, don't let innocent fiction fans be influenced by this garbage fest of a movie.