Lindy does a much better job reviewing kid movies. She is way less jaded.
Actually, I take that back...Lindy may be jaded too, but hides it better. Seriously Megan, it looks like you phoned this one in. A kids movie based on a kids book offers so many possibilities to explore in the review. That's all I'm saying.
Megan Selling: BLAH BLAH BLAH MENSTRUATION BLAH BLAH BLAH I HATE CHILDREN THIS MOVE SUCKS DICKS BLAH THOSE ISLANDERS ARE STUPID BECAUSE ALL THEY HAVE IS SARDINES I HATE THOSE STUPID ISLANDERS BLAH SINCE THEY'RE EATING THEY'RE GREEDY BLAHBITTY BLEH KILL THEM ALL.
Commentors: JESUS CHRIST SHUT YOUR FUCKING YAPPER OH MY GOD I HATE THE STRANGER AND ITS WRITERS SO MUCH I'M GOING TO BUST A NUT BURN THE WRITERS TO THE GROUND THIS REVIEW IS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST AND YOU'RE TEN TIMES WORSE THAN THE BASTARD CHILD OF HITLER AND STALIN HOW DARE YOU EVEN CONSIDER GIVING THIS MOVIE A BAD REVIEW? IT'S A CHILDREN'S MOVIE SO THEREFORE IT'S OFF LIMITS ENTIRELY, END! OF! STORY!
Ignoring the obvious trolling that precedes me, this does seem like a pretty short review, Megan. But hey, if that means your portion of the back-to-school feature (always hilarious; I look forward to it every year) is that much better because that was your primary focus this week, fine by me.
I saw a screening last night and I feel that this review doesn't really cut it. There is nothing about the charm, warmth, and humor represented here. This is purely distilled in to "I'm Megan and kid's movies need more death."
First of all, the humor isn't a series of one-off jokes, even the quirky scenes are referenced again and interwoven in to a world. Unlike a Dreamworks movie where it feels like every joke started with "hey remember that scene from this movie? What if we did that, but with a Panda!" I think this really speaks to the clever writing of the writer/directors and the talented storyboard artists.
A blood bath tacked on to the end to make you happy really isn't called for. I'm astonished you feel justified in requesting such a thing. That is more appropriate for a parody of the animated family feature genre, something targeted at cynical, "I review films" audiences. I wish you well with that pitch to Hollywood.
You should absolutely take your kids to see this film! Yes, the story is predictable, but it has a lot of original gags. I actually enjoyed it a lot (and I'd rather sit in a dentist's chair than watch some of the other kids films out there).
Actually, I take that back...Lindy may be jaded too, but hides it better. Seriously Megan, it looks like you phoned this one in. A kids movie based on a kids book offers so many possibilities to explore in the review. That's all I'm saying.
Is the movie funny? Looks it in the trailers. Is it a movie children will enjoy? No idea from this review. Just a lot of snark and hate of the world.
Commentors: JESUS CHRIST SHUT YOUR FUCKING YAPPER OH MY GOD I HATE THE STRANGER AND ITS WRITERS SO MUCH I'M GOING TO BUST A NUT BURN THE WRITERS TO THE GROUND THIS REVIEW IS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST AND YOU'RE TEN TIMES WORSE THAN THE BASTARD CHILD OF HITLER AND STALIN HOW DARE YOU EVEN CONSIDER GIVING THIS MOVIE A BAD REVIEW? IT'S A CHILDREN'S MOVIE SO THEREFORE IT'S OFF LIMITS ENTIRELY, END! OF! STORY!
First of all, the humor isn't a series of one-off jokes, even the quirky scenes are referenced again and interwoven in to a world. Unlike a Dreamworks movie where it feels like every joke started with "hey remember that scene from this movie? What if we did that, but with a Panda!" I think this really speaks to the clever writing of the writer/directors and the talented storyboard artists.
A blood bath tacked on to the end to make you happy really isn't called for. I'm astonished you feel justified in requesting such a thing. That is more appropriate for a parody of the animated family feature genre, something targeted at cynical, "I review films" audiences. I wish you well with that pitch to Hollywood.