Film/TV Jan 28, 2015 at 4:00 am

If You Don’t Like Spoilers, Don’t Read This Review. (If You Don’t Like Kevin Costner, Go Ahead.)

In his defense, this is black people hair we’re talking about. Nobody knows how it works.

Comments

1
This article is the best thing in the entire internet.
2
^^Ditto.
3
Love!
4
I love you soooooo much Ijeoma! Thank you for writing this.
5
I'm so sorry you had to watch this movie, but it means this review got written, and I got to read it.
6
Not because of its patronizing view of race relations, ... although that is all there in spades
-------------------------------------------------------
Respectfully - was this intended as a pun? Please advise - thank you.
7
fyi: he's got another film coming out in which he coaches an all-mexican cross country team in the 80's, so....im looking forward to that review.
8
Had no intention of seeing this movie but I do thank you for your sacrifice.
9
@7 Sounds like he's going for the white savior trifecta
10
You seem all to thrilled to bash this movie. Somehow I feel you're a bit biased and cynical. I just can't take you seriously. I'll watch the bootleg and judge for myself. Thanks for the overzealous and longwinded rant.
11
But is the movie good or bad? And are there any boobs shown in it?
12
@11: Bad. And Yes, Kevin Costner.
13
Just watching the preview made me suspect that this movie would be just the piece of shit that you have described. Thank you for making it entertaining.
15
This will fail like Selma did. Thanks Obama and Holder. I will go watch American Sniper again....#Blackfatigue
17
@15- Are you actually a human or just a trollbot? Because the word salad you just posted is completely incoherent in a very bot-like fashion.
18
@17, I wish, but rights + Obama/Holder + gun = red meat for Foxs News viewers. The post is okay, but I'm more interested in this blogger's view why racist trolls aren't the problem. They seem to be astroturfers fed shit Karl Rove to distract from the real issues, but I'm interested that someone is deconstructing the racist myth since it's sure to swerve to misogyny as the Presidential election gears up.
19
@1, the Huffington Post article is worth a read. Anonymous commenting really needs to end.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/andreas-kre…
20
@12: well played.

Best review in the Stranger since Lindy.
21
This sadly confirms my suspicions. The trailer looked excruciatingly patronizing. It looked bad. Big surprise; it is bad.
22
@10 - Why do you even read a movie review at all if you're just determined to judge everything for yourself?
23
When you watch the commercials of this movie on tv you can tell its SAD, and I am sorry you had to sit through that whole thing.....
24
I admit, I only read this because of the "if you don't like Kevin Costner" clause, but this is THE BEST movie review EVER!!!
25
I am tired of black movie reviewers paranoia that shitty sappy race relations movies made by Kevin Costner are self-congratulatory dreck. I am tired of hearing racist black movie reviewers tell me the only reason they don't like a movie is because they solely they are black and Kevin Costner is NOT black. I am tired of black movie reviewers saying poor poor me I had to watch this when other races and genders and wealthy straight white men such as Kevin Costner force the rest of the world to suffer through their shitty, shitty movies far more than any black man does because let's face it black people are not going to sit through this shit.
26
@ 25 see y'all ? this is why you have to finish the entire class instead of just the parts you think you understand.
27
So, does the little green star mean a recommendation? The review is clever, for about a second. We need a review reviewer to review this review with the same Clever Trevor, Mamma/Poppa knows best, I'm the smartest in the room (just ask me) review method. Amen. We're all crackheads now.
28
@ 22 I like to make up my own mind *and* I like to read reviews.

Not sure know why you think of this as a contradiction. It seems the sane thing to do. Or do you just think whatever someone else thinks for you?

and @ 27, when you end you silly rant with the plural pronoun 'we' all I can say is speak for yourself.
29
#28 meaning I'm not one of you,,,,you bully:)
30
@6 -- The pun you asked about is a mirage. The phrase comes from the value of the suit of cards in taking tricks when playing bridge. See this explanation:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/in-sp…
31
I'm so pleased to see Ms. Oluo writing for The Stranger!
32
To be fair, lots of men don't have any experience with the hair of their daughters and granddaughters.

I have a school picture taken during the year I lived with my dad after the divorce. One eye is visible, and the hair sticks out in all directions. All the school pictures taken when I lived with my mom? Neat and tidy. And it was not just for picture day. Get this: my mom brushed and braided my hair everyday.

Think this is a thing of the past? Dropping the kids off at ballet? Kids that come with mom have their hair in ponytails or buns or at least combed. Kids that come with dad? Not so much.
33
@26. I L'd OL.
34
hilarious-- i am so glad you saw this movie so i don't have to, but i can still enjoy its absurdity
35
@30 - Thanks for your reply. While I am aware of the original source of the term, I am also aware of how folks, like say, Archie Bunker, used the term. Not being politically correct, at all, just thinking that if I were writing this piece, a different metaphor would be my choice ;)

Regards,

l.t.
36
I am actually LOL at this review/post. When I first saw the trailer for this film alarm bells sounded. I knew that it would be drivel and all "white savior-y". *Sigh* it's 2015 and we've got "Black or White" and "Shades of Gray". It's not looking good.
37
@9 technically are there 3 now, this, McFarland, and Dances with Wolves white saving some Native Americans?
38
I found your comment about black hair - "Nobody knows how it works", extremely insulting. Sounds like you and Kevin Costner don't know how black hair works. I'm black and I certainly know how black hair works. It isn't only Kevin Costner we need saving from. We need saving from uninformed critics like you!

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