Food & Drink Jan 24, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Damn You, Food Nazis!

Goldy
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Comments

1
They might as well just outlaw fun.
eclexia on January 24, 2012 at 5:14 PM Report this
2
You better be careful making jokes like that, Goldy, considering the Jewish history w/ the blood-libel and all. Some backwards-ass Oklahoma state senatory might get the wrong idea.
Geocrackr on January 24, 2012 at 5:18 PM Report this
3
First they came for the babies. What's next? Placentas?
Fifty-Two-Eighty on January 24, 2012 at 5:18 PM Report this
5
Freshman Sen. Ralph Shortey said Tuesday that Internet research he has conducted led him to believe such a ban is necessary.


If a google search is the sum total research you're giving to an issue, in ANY capacity (let alone one as important as a legislator), you're a fraud.
Matt from Denver on January 24, 2012 at 5:21 PM Report this
6
@2, Don't be silly. Everybody knows we don't make our matzo from human fetuses. We use live born babies, and even then, only their blood.
Goldy on January 24, 2012 at 5:21 PM Report this
7
So, I can still use miscarried human fetuses in my red-sauce?

Also, it looks like someone took A Modest Proposal a little too seriously
ryanayr on January 24, 2012 at 5:26 PM Report this
8
My family has provided human fetuses to restaurants throughout the Midwest, including Oklahoma, for YEARS! This bill IS AN OUTRAGE! We have a right to support ourselves by supplying a demand. Without us, those fetuses will only go to waste or be re-purposed for the trampoline industry. Oklahoma, you have ENOUGH TRAMPOLINES!
on January 24, 2012 at 5:27 PM Report this
9
Damn, there's goes my plan for feeding the world's hungry.
seandr on January 24, 2012 at 5:28 PM Report this
10
@8 - The bill makes no mention of aborted cat or dog fetuses. Certainly the good citizens of Oklahoma can make do with this - albeit subpar - replacement for good 'ole American aborted fetus meat.

I would also like to mention, the bill bans both food and products made of aborted human fetuses. I dare say that the good people of Oklahoma may soon find themselves woefully untrampolined. Perish the thought....
ryanayr on January 24, 2012 at 5:33 PM Report this
11
Actually, I think I figured this bill out. In banning any and all products, food or otherwise, it is essentially banning the importation to Oklahoma of any products made from embryonic stem cells, since one cannot determine which cells are or are not derived from aborted fetuses. If a legislator wanted to repeal this legislation, the right wing could then claim that Democrats want to allow aborted fetuses in food.
ryanayr on January 24, 2012 at 5:37 PM Report this
12
Laraine: It's nutritious, it's 100 percent natural, and now that you're going to have a family, you've got to watch your food budget more than ever.

Classic SNL skit - Placenta Helper
" One short script that the NBC censors cut was a fake ad for Placenta Helper, written by Al Franken and Tom Davis."

I found this using the googles, but the book's around here somewhere.
bedipped on January 24, 2012 at 5:39 PM Report this
13
The inevitable outcome in our Nanny State.
emma's bee on January 24, 2012 at 5:42 PM Report this
14
Ugh. Ugh! Now what am I going to serve at my Rainbow Party?
Zebes on January 24, 2012 at 5:42 PM Report this
15
@ryanayr you may be onto something.
LMcGuff on January 24, 2012 at 5:43 PM Report this
16
It seems like a very modest proposal
on January 24, 2012 at 5:47 PM Report this
17
Typical Republicans, they want to babies to be born, grow up destitute, and get on welfare. THEN they can be turned into Soylent Green.
McGee on January 24, 2012 at 5:48 PM Report this
18
@11 - I work in a blood bank in the cord blood/stem cell department. We are required to follow "manufacturing guidelines" and legally a transplant unit is considered a product, so actually this could potentially prevent some stem cell products from reaching their recipients.
on January 24, 2012 at 5:48 PM Report this
19
I believe the good Senator just proposed making felching illegal...
COMTE on January 24, 2012 at 5:51 PM Report this
20
Whatever, as long as I can still use aborted fetuses as feed for chickens I can't be bothered with this.
brian on January 24, 2012 at 5:55 PM Report this
21
Those heartless bastards! Oklahoman atheists will starve!
Knat on January 24, 2012 at 6:16 PM Report this
22
So much for that Andrew Zimmerman visit to Tulsa.

But yeah, this is all about stem cells.
sloegin on January 24, 2012 at 6:25 PM Report this
23
@5, I would NEVER believe that any duly elected representative in the US Government or those of its States is a functional illiterate without even a child's fluency in modern communications media.

NEVER.

I'm picturing some slightly-below-average-IQ, sheltered, car-salesman good ol' boy being helped onto the internet by an intern, poking around at it boredly for a while, and then staying up for 36 hours straight reading every word in David Icke's forums while occasionally calling out, "HAY, JIMMY! You b'lieve this? Says the guv'mint's been lettin' them lizard-folks perform all kindsa hex-peer-mints ta stayr-lahz anybody's got them a too hah IQ on account 'a they ain't want us figgerin' out their teck-noll-gees, an' they put them 'borted fetusers IN AWR FOOD! This's gotta stop!"
balderdash on January 24, 2012 at 6:29 PM Report this
24
Well, if it said on the Googles that there are fetuses in our food, it must be true. Right??!!
MLM on January 24, 2012 at 6:31 PM Report this
25
So....my denver omelette is contra band now?
yucca flower on January 24, 2012 at 6:42 PM Report this
26
This bill is most likely a reaction to the use of a human cell line, HEK293, in the development of flavor enhancers. http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/biotech…

HEK293 are an immortal cell line derived from embryonic kidneys, from aborted fetal tissue. It should be noted that this particular line was isolated about 40 years ago from a single abortion and has been growing in lab incubators ever since. One time isolation of a cell line here, not some underground industry driving a demand for aborted fetal tissue.

They are primarily used in medical and biological research. Pretty neat that something that could've been mere medical waste is now an immortal, valuable research tool. I'm sure the religious right would rather have flavor enhancers injected directly into guinea pig eyeballs though, that would be less of a moral conundrum. http://hek293.com/
Salad on January 24, 2012 at 7:38 PM Report this
27
how about if your religion demands you eat human fetus? What then? And the market demands it?
Will they go against the free market, and stop religions from practicing their holy and God-praising faith?
The religious right might just implode if they have to consider such things.
Purocuyu on January 24, 2012 at 8:04 PM Report this
28
But what will I serve at my gay wedding?
Chef Thunder on January 24, 2012 at 8:06 PM Report this
29
Please, please, please let the development of Viagra have involved stem cells...
tdonut on January 24, 2012 at 8:45 PM Report this
30
my face when
venomlash on January 24, 2012 at 9:04 PM Report this
31
@ 23, that's probably close to the truth of the matter. And I have to admit a brain fart - state houses have been home to some of the droolingest morons known to humanity, so this guy is carrying on a proud tradition.
Matt from Denver on January 24, 2012 at 10:05 PM Report this
32
now if they could only prohibit batshit from being used in the manufacture of proposed legislation.
runswithnailclippers on January 24, 2012 at 10:29 PM Report this
33
I love living in oklahoma sometimes! Our legislature is very busy preventing sharia law and trying to overturn DADT on a local level, ending taxes and cutting services for the poor all the while traumatizing women who are receiving medical care.. Ugh. We are an interesting experiment in hyperconservatism. Strange our state has socialist roots.
on January 25, 2012 at 5:32 AM Report this
34
...or watched Dumplings.
phewd on January 25, 2012 at 5:50 AM Report this
35
Soylent Green is people!
Clayton on January 25, 2012 at 6:54 AM Report this
36
He must have just seen the Christopher Reeve episode of South Park, where Reeve is cracking open fetuses, and sucking out the stem cells.

Or perhaps he misunderstood this product?
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41…
Rob in Baltimore on January 25, 2012 at 9:51 AM Report this
37
@35- Soylent Green is still legal, like most GOP policies this one stops helping humans the moment they're born.
dwightmoodyforgetsthings on January 25, 2012 at 10:36 AM Report this
38
Well, what the hell are we supposed to make baby food out of, then, if we can't use babies? Not to mention baby shampoo!
Geni on January 25, 2012 at 4:03 PM Report this
39
I wonder if this guy has realized that if this bill passes it will effectively outlaw many vaccines? They are made by growing the pathogen needed for the vaccine in cell cultures made from aborted fetuses (though said fetuses were all aborted in the 1970s or earlier).
Noadi on January 26, 2012 at 6:37 AM Report this

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