Comments are closed.
Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.
I'm fairly sure the implication Mr. Constant was attempting to make was that the creator of said slogan should have utilized a semi-colon as opposed to the often ill-advised and overused comma. My only issue with Mr. Constant's critique, besides being snarky and overly judgmental, is that he commits what I believe to be a cardinal sin (if you're going to write for a paper like "The Stranger") of missing the irony in the slogan. The fucking statement is meant to be ironic - not so syntactically impeccable that Mr. Paul "sat on a stick" Constant needs to get his thong in a twist.
Mr. Constant goes on to say that Blue Moon's lettuce is "bland and copious." Fuck, if we've already begun a grammatical witch hunt, shouldn't it be "bland yet copious?" - Can I get an Amen folks? - Secondly, how can lettuce be anything other than bland? It's a vegetable made up largely of water! At this point I'm not quite sure, maybe Mr. Constant would prefer some peppery arugula to really add extra flavor to a non-essential, non-focal point ingredient of ANY BURGER…EVER MADE.
I could continue but there's really no point. I COULD point out that in an article that begins by highlighting Dick's Restaurant (who also only uses one piece of cheese on ITS cheeseburger and none on its Dick's Special) Mr. Constant complains about the lack of cheese on several of Blue Moon's presentments.
I COULD point out that the only difference between the Dick's Special's sauce and Blue Moon's sauce is...wait for it...wait for it...fucking nothing. Every burger in America's so-called "special sauce" is some combination or mayonnaise and Thousand Island dressing (with possibly a hint of pickle juice) so why Mr. Constant are you picking on these guys? They're nice people.
I love to veg out on their burgers and while they keep my stomach happy, they turn my asshole into a Door's song (that's a "Ring of Fire" reference for all you fucktards out there who didn't it).
Bottom line: Blue Moon is a fucking burger joint, so that's what I expect, not to have every one of my taste buds caressed like I'm an 18 year old girl on prom night whose joker-ass boyfriend is trying to convince her to give up that ever-so-tightly held v-card.
Feel free to give me a job, or just fuck off, because this review is the type of flaming dog shit that only Billy Madison ought to leave on someone's doorstep.
Secondly, I wouldn't write for The Stranger if they offered me Jamie Dimon's salary, tossed my salad every day and gave me one of their corner offices with a view of one homeless person pissing on another.
Peace up, A Town down.
Oh, and is the fact that I listen to both Johnny Cash and The Doors really all that bad...food for thought...maybe over a tasty Blue Moon Burger with Special Sauce and arugula.
Was that supposed to be some sort of "gotcha moment?" If so, you're wrong. I had hoped the last comment was the final one I'd be forced to make but your idiocy has once again dragged me back into the fold.
Now, had you graduated from middle school, you would know that you DO NOT EVER use an apostrophe unless you are creating a conjunction.
Unfortunately for your dumbass, "it" is a pronoun, not a noun and therefore requires no possessive apostrophe when used in reference to another noun.
Please don't bother responding as 1) I won't check because you're a waste of time and space and 2) If you consider that more obvious than semi-colon use than once again: YOU'RE A DUMBASS, no wait...I think FUCKTARD is the word we were all working on proliferating.
Thank you and goodnight.
In the first paragraph, it is a possessive pronoun. Therefore, no apostrophe is needed. The same goes for its use in paragraph four.
The only time he uses "it's" as a contraction is in paragraph three. Therefore, the apostrophe is appropriate.
Am I missing one or something?
(The "its/it's" grammatical error is the one Paul is alluding to in the review. Nevertheless @4 BoyInterrupted --quite indignantly-- is "fairly sure the implication Mr. Constant was attempting to make was that the creator of said slogan should have utilized a semi-colon as opposed to the often ill-advised and overused comma" thus ensuring BoyInterrupted his vaunted place in the annals of fucktardery.)
I didn't actually read the article. I don't even know what BoyInterrupted is so upset about. Don't ask why I was even reading the comments here.
but none can outrun or equal... the power... of RED MILL.
He also misses the point of lettuce, which not only does have flavor, it also has texture, which is why my burgers, like a sushi restaurant salad, always have iceberg on top (next to the ketchup).
But a burger should never be taller than it is wide. That's just incompetent. Unless you're going to eat it with a knife and fork, in which case you should be crushed by a falling wall.
lol u 2 r so fnny
I have a friend in an open relationship. Recently she told a story about an acquaintance who had decided that the best way to get into her boyfriend's pants was to talk shit about her.
I was very confused. How could that be advantageous? If you already know that it's possible for you to get what you want, why would you not go get it and stop wasting everyone's time? If you aren't sure whether it's possible, how would that action help your goal? Dude might just conclude that she seems like unnecessary drama. It's creating competition in a situation where no competition exists.
When I read a rant about this review followed by "Feel free to give me a job..." I thought "Whoa, people try to use that technique in their professional lives TOO?"
You talkin' about date-n-bacon? If not, please link a review so I can go try.
The way I usually think about it is to decide whether the words are opposites in some way. More specifically, if something is flavorless, would you expect it to automatically be a certain size? Not really... blandness unfortunately occurs in all shapes and sizes of food. A bland thing could be minute or it could be copious. Copious isn't the opposite of bland.
"Secondly, how can lettuce be anything other than bland? It's a vegetable made up largely of water!"
The cliche "you are what you eat" has some truth to it. Animals who eat grass vs. corn produce beef with different flavors. That's part of what these new burger joints are attempting to use. Vegetables eat nutrients and chemicals from soil. A popular old science project for kids used to be putting a white flower in a glass of water with food coloring and watching it change color. If vegetables grow in soil that's full of awesome, they are more flavorful. If they grow somewhere crappy, they have a different texture and taste. I grew up believing that all vegetables were bland, flavorless piles of disgusting mush. My mom bought whatever she could afford at the local chain grocery store and it usually came from a can.
(Not too hot nor too cold?)