Food & Drink Feb 20, 2013 at 4:00 am

How I Learned to Stop Eating Food and Not Love Living on Juice Alone

Comments

1
It is too bad that you had such a negative experience on the juice fast. I went on it for 60 days, lost 65 pounds and felt 100% better in all aspects. I am also 50 so there may be a bit more positive effect on older persons.
2
Whaaaaaa? Who is this wonderful writer? You guys gotta tease this shit out in slog. Great article!
3
honey child....you made some rookie mistakes. First mistake...you spent too much damn money. You don't need to go to a bullshit juicing restaurant...if you can put even 10 bucks aside you can make literally pitchers worth of juice that you'll actually WANT to drink. Costco is your friend. Then, instead of fasting just add it onto your normal diet routine. Your cravings will VANISH. It's just that magical. Oh and btw...it'll improve your experiences with other green substances....HEHE!!!! Trust me...don't torture yourself!!!!! P.S. make sure your using a solid juicer and not a jack lalame. MWAH.
4
actually....strawberry moon looks STUNNING.
5
Loved, loved, loved you article girl!! Write more!
6
First world problems.
7
OMG. So well written.

"The combo made my mouth burn, like if your front lawn came to life and you gave it a blowjob, and then you found out it had grass STIs."

Second best sentence I've read this month, and I usually read the entire New York Times plus everything Dan Savage writes (I know, weird combo, huh?). (Best sentence this month was something Douglas Adams wrote, I've been re-reading his books. He was one hell of a writer, multiple sentencegasms. Yours came close to rivaling the great Adams!)
8
You're a wonderful writer! And you have way more willpower than me. Very jealous.

Oh, and for the tool who said "First World Problems?" Shut the fuck up.
9
Does anyone ever notice that many of the writers for this rag sound like bitchy drag queens (oh, honey, let me tell you 'bout the time I GAVE UP FOOD! OMG!) Whether or not Strawberry Moon is a good or bad idea healthwise, having some sarcastic a-hole go off about her idiotic misadventure is neither entertaining or enlightening. It's just irritating and annoying, which I guess is the goal (and no, a perfunctory and obvious misplaced literary reference to Sylvia Plath does not imbue you with any cred, sweetie--it's just pathetic). Sorry, my bad for reading, guess I read the Stranger the way liberals watch Fox News and then get pissed at it. Mea Culpa (need to learn to just cut out Muede and throw the rest of the paper in the recycle).
10
@7

Maybe you should try reading some stuff not written by hacks. Excluding late great Douglas Adams of course, though comparing this girls over privileged whiny drivel to Adams is rather insulting. On the positive side Minard writes circles around most of The Strangers over the hill still trying to be edgy staff. She has a lot of potential once she gains some perspective.

11
Anna, you're great!!! Please write more!!
I don't think I could live on juice alone.
Kudos to you for taking the dare.

Long live red wine & cheeseburgers!!!!!!
12
this was friggin' hilarious.
13
Enzymes are not like Santa Claus they actually scientifically exist. Strawberry Moon juices do not look like my juices, which is everything fresh in my shopping cart/veggie drawer. It seems the fresh pressed juices would be worth it, and at $10 a bottle I think I NEED to try! They look gorgeous!
14
The thing written about toxins is very misleading. Anyone who has ever taken a drug test knows that toxins store up in the body, anyone who understands the cumulative effects of heavy metals, and pesticides knows that toxins store up in the body. This has been shown over and over some of the strongest cases being detoxing those with radiation sickness after the bombings of japan in world war 2.

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art1… (radiation)

Some are exuded through the skin ("My skin, which had been breaking out all week, cleared up immediately."), which the author seems to have began to experience. Many other toxins called fat soluble toxins can stay in the body for quite a while. The fat soluble ones begin to pour out when a person begins a fast, leading to every symptom the author described.

While water soluble ones move through fairly quickly. Which the author half grasped, was done by the liver, and kidneys, and of course skin.

http://www.ehow.com/info_8306615_signs-p… to tell if your detoxing to fast, because it happened to the author)

The author did not do enough research, and was not prepared, people who eat a western diet are very toxic, hence the high rates of disease (Many dispute this, do so if you like). If you are going to detox, move into it slowly, follow what your body tells you. You might find that a juice and the morning a raw salad for lunch, and a lite cooked dinner, are the right way to wade in. Getting your body healthy and toxin free is not a contest.

Remember these timeless words. ANNA MINARD
“Let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food.” --Hippocrates

Because from what you described, your body has years of built up gunk.
Here is a list of what happens when you detox (AT FIRST):

Diarrhea
Extreme fatigue and/or its opposite, restlessness
15
Extreme fatigue and/or its opposite, restlessness
Cramps
Headache (believed to be caused by buildup of toxins in the blood) <--Anna
Aches, Pains
Arthritic flair up
Insomnia <---Anna
Nausea
Sinus congestion
Fever (usually low grade) and/or chills <--Anna
Frequent urination and/or urinary tract discharges
Drop in blood pressure
Skin eruptions, including: boils, hives, and rashes. <---Anna
Cold or flu-like symptoms
Strong emotions: anger, despair, sadness, fear, etc. <---Anna
Suppressed memories arise
Anxiety <--Anna
Mood swings

(Link Below)
http://www.falconblanco.com/health/crisi…

Cheers!
16
I was excited to see something written about fasting, but disappointed in the far-from-beneficial results. I have been fasting yearly for 20 years. I see it as a cleansing fast and I usually do it in the spring, after a winter of bad eating habits. It's a 14 day liquids fast: 3 transition days in and out and then 6-8 days on only juices or vegetable broth. The first three days are the hardest for me, even while I'm still eating because my body and mind knows what's coming. I have read that periods of 'starvation' are natural to our species and our bodies can go without food for up to 40 days. It's the feast or famine you've heard of. In the modern day, it has to be done voluntarily because food is everywhere all the time in whatever quantity you like or can afford. As soon as I make the decision to do the fast, my body goes into fast-mode: I imagine my tongue coating with toxins oozing out and I get a pre-buzz. I think one reason you didn't get any of the benefits is that you don't really start to feel them until day 8 or 9. In the fast I do, your stomach shuts down and you need to give yourself daily enemas to clean out the intestine. Even they become routine. It's all about discipline, like learning a language or playing an instrument. I like the practice...
17
Hmmm the things I read suggest putting your body into starvation mode via this, anorexia, etc., is never a good idea. Your body shuts metabolism way down, starts to digest its own muscle for calories, and when you start to eat 'normal' again you have less muscle mass, a slower metabolism, and get fatter than ever. To say eat more veggies, less fatty/red meat/junk food makes a hell of a lot more sense than to do these kind of extreme diets/'cleansings'/whatevs, in my opinion...
18
Loved the article, Anna, and nice work getting through all five days! My wife and I make our own juice and it actually tastes like vegetables instead of hay. I love it, but only as a supplement to burgers and beer and all of the other delicious offerings out there. Recently I've been taking juice to work and drinking that instead of afternoon caffeine. It wakes me up, brain and body, but doesn't keep me up into the night. Everything in moderation, right?
19
Thank you Jzesbough for your comments. I kept thinking, where is the journalism here? Why didn't she actually do any research or even commit to what she was doing enough to see if it worked at all? I feel bad for Strawberry Moon. They gave her free juice and she shit on them because she likes cheeseburgers. She seemed to be going more for cool points I guess, but it just came out as irresponsible and whiney.

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