Food & Drink Nov 13, 2013 at 4:00 am

Martino's Steak Sandwich Would Make Ayn Rand Weep with Joy

A man and his meat. Kelly O

Comments

1
Whuuuuut Theeeee Fuuuuuu...?

Yeah. I hope you didn't bend that crow bar trying to force Ayn Rand into this review.

On the next review - maybe of fish sticks or something - could you try to retrofit another reviled half baked philosopher into it ? Maybe Spinoza!?!
2
wait, spinoza, the christ of philosophers, half baked?! please elaborate!
3
This was a good article and I liked it.
4
Martino's is the best! The tri-tip is literally the best sandwich I have ever eaten. The Mac and Cheese (when they have it) is also awesome. Actually everything in that whole damn place is swoonworthy. I sure hope this review doesn't end up creating long lines and shortages..I need my smoked meats fix!
5
@2 Oh. No. I'm not spoiling it. You'll have to wait for the strained inclusion of Spinoza in Constant's Fish Stick shack review.
6
So great, aptly written and subtly hilarious, Paul!
"I'm not usually the kind of man who wants to praise one part of a sandwich." Maybe those kinds of men live in...Stanwood?
7
@1, kindly crowbar yourself into a state where you are no longer able to type, because your words are making it onto the internet somehow and it's repulsive.
8
7FTW.

I love that he worked Ayn Rand in. Nicely done. The part about her clawing at her face was the best.
9
Of the dozens of people in Atlas Shrugged who were working at lower level jobs for various, obvious reasons, you only noticed the hamburger cook? Talk about a narrow focus! (Do you even recall why he was particularly important?)

You should learn to read conceptually, since you just proved you don't. Good writers are good readers. If it weren't for abominable editors you wouldn't be writing anything commercially.
10
I'm confused. You seem to think that a detailed description of a culinary masterpiece somehow refutes Rand's ideal that people should want to excel at their work? You don't believe that a janitor has the right to think that his job matters, and that he should want to do it superlatively?

Come to think of it, I've known several people who cleaned houses for a living, and they took pride in doing good work.

Have you ever talked to a construction worker? I don't mean the yahoos who just show up to collect a check. I'm talking about the real craftsmen, the ones who show up on time with all the tools they need, who bust their asses all day, and who always strive to do the best work possible. Those guys are out there--I've worked with them--you can't tell me they don't exist. They are the people for whom Atlas Shrugged was written, them and any person who shows up for work with his brain in the 'on' position, and his pride invested in how well he does his job.
11
And thus a food article gets overshadowed by a bunch of frothing randroids in the comment section. Here's the thing, guys, nobody gives two shits about why the analogy does or doesn't work or why some puerile piece of hack writing was supposedly important. Everybody just wants to taste that sandwich.
12
"the "simple ingredients," consisting of juicy chunks of smoked tri-tip steak doused in chimichurri and mixed with a tomato-and-onion salsa,"

Yeah, cuz that is "simple" ingredients.

So, you really liked the sandwich is what you are trying to say and just had to try to elevate "hey, I really liked this sandwich!" into some weird nut off about Ayn Rand.
13
I really don't get the Ayn Rand tip. Constant, I do like you, but you were writing more for yourself than for the job you were given -- to review a restaurant. How can you spend a number of paragraphs expounding upon a restaurant by taking your writerly profession and conflating it to another profession altogether? Everyone knows everyone hates Rand. Why combine the two within a restaurant review? What even occurred to you in order to hybridize this?

I would love to know your thought process insofar as assembling the review associating this restaurant with. I demand a follow up as to what it was going through your head and why you even came to these associations. I don't "demand" in a mean way, but just, why? I would like to learn this technique and its necessity to be used. Seriously.

What was running through your head, Paul, when you wrote this?
14
That chef owned the block.

One of the ideas being that every job you have is a stepping stone.

And not your end-all, be all.

The inverse being paid $15 for being a while fry cook while every fag and minority gets kicked out of town.

Bravo.

You fucking idiots.
15
That'd be 'white fry cook'

Nsa is quick.
16
"Atlas Shrugged is About Pride in One's Work, and the Success that Results" by Steve Simpson http://www.forbes.com/sites/realspin/201…
17
Martino's is OK -- the tri-tip is great, the Italian isn't and everything ends up tasting more or less the same. I wish they sold their meat like a real butcher/smokery, instead of just offering the sandwiches (and occasional meatloaf).

As for the review: Awful, awful, awful shitbarf. A ninth-grader could've executed Paul Constant's ninth-grade "Hey, let's make this restaurant review about Ayn Rand, for some reason" fetish into something a little more exciting, albeit still awful. What a shame this restaurant has to be associated with it.
18
Thank you for:

"...her description of the "hamburger sandwich" reads like a matter-of-fact account of a pap smear that went surprisingly well"

I laughed out loud at that. Well-played!

And thanks for the heads-up. I'm a Greenwoody so the place is an easy walk down Phinney. I'll check it out!
19
You really should stop writing while stoned.
20
"Hamburger sandwich" sounds like something Jason Sudeikis impersonating Mitt Romney would say.
21
Constant has clearly been drinking with Mudede. Next thing you know he'll be referencing dialectical materialism and posting pictures of stars.
22
@1: Sorry you're offended. You could have stopped reading at any time.

@10: If you think someone should dream to work the burger-flip station and make minimum wage forever because a shitty fictional character gave another shitty fictional character a hat-tip you have no concept of Rand's writing or reality.
23
Self-indulgent crap writing. Nobody gives a shit about your obsession with Ayn Rand. Tell us about the food, damn it.
24
Santa Maria tri-tip shouldn't have chimchurri 0.o
25
Looking forward to trying this.

Embarrassment of riches with Dot's and now this merely two miles apart.
26
Rand's fans are so touchy. Do you suppose Barbara Cartland's readers get this worked up when someone trashes one of her novels? Or Danielle Steele's? But then again, they were/are competent romance novelists. All Ayn ever focused on was rape.
27
I think PConstant is kind of like one of those super anti-homo crusaders who secretly craves cock. One day hes gonna crack and go full-on libertarian on your asses; he probably secretly jacks it to the idea of palling around w/ billionaire venture capitalists, consulting them about the social implications of moon colonization or starting their own island/nations.
30
@29: Pretty much. No gods, no masters.
31
Yeah, #29. You're right.

Who needs pro-American Russians when you have krokodil?
32
BTW, the Cliff's Notes aren't doing your 'journalist' any favors.

Dragon's breath and all.
33
Let's go watch the Du Hast video and cry ourselves to sleep.
35
Do what you love. Eat what you love. Put a fire in your belly. The Ayn Randwich.
37
Paul what strain are you taking in? I like Rascal OG, sometimes a Lime Kush. What ever the strain I think it make you kinda funny. Can't wait to try that samich.

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.