Dear bike delivery asshat: I know that homelessness is a problem in Seattle. Anyone who's been here for more than a few hours can see that. I don't know whether city officials or even national figures have any real ideas about how to help the situation, but I'm pretty sure your approach—making obscene gestures and mocking an obviously mentally ill homeless man walking down the street—isn't going to help at all. I don't know if it made you feel better or tougher or what, but it fucking pisses me off. We need more cruelty like that in the world like we need more sloppily made garbage sandwiches with shitty vegetables and too much cheese. Oh, and you need to raise the saddle on your bike by like six inches. It looks like you set it up for an 8-year-old. I guess I should have made some obscene gestures and mocked you to let you know that. Fuck you and your shitty sandwiches.

—Anonymous

To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.