You came in five minutes after the movie started. From all the empty seats available, you decided to sit right next to me. Then you started making inane comments about the movie ("Look! They are dancing on their cars!"). I politely asked you to be quiet. "Sorry" was the response. But you just couldn't help yourselves, could you? I asked you again to be quiet, this time not so politely. Then you decided to take a phone call! I do appreciate your attempt to hide under your jacket to answer your phone—that was nice. At this point, my "Are you fucking kidding me?" only seemed to act as fuel for you to continue talking and over-laughing at every slightly humorous moment. Yes, I could have moved, but why should I move when you are the ones that suck? At the end of the movie, you told me you were sorry for being loud. You told me that you are musicians, so I guess that means you are allowed to act like total fuckwads during a musical?

—Anonymous

To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.