To the twisted fuck-weasel who stole the lights off of the child's seat on my bike outside the Goodwill one sunny Saturday afternoon: You'll be happy to know that you made a 5-year-old boy cry for about 10 minutes. I really didn't know what to say when he asked me, "Why did they do that, Daddy?" Because I can't conceive of any reason to steal from a child. You should know that nothing good will happen in your life as long as you're willing to stoop to such depths. I pity you.

—Anonymous