Fabulous, great, wonderful. People care. But whatever happened to the intense passive / aggressive I, Anons of past? Good grief, there has to be some entertainment value in reading this column...

LOL - Ok Arty Zip - i accept the challenge of entertainment:

Seattle, Seattle, The grand, "emerald city".
A city that used to be cool,
A city that is now, oh so shitty,
full of hipsters and homeless and streets full of potholes,
And sidewalks with vomit, and drool and cardboard bedrolls.

It had its uniqueness-
It had its grunge-
It had its really cool art -
It had great architecture,
now just facade-shingled clapboard shart!

Its downfall you see, that was really quite subtle
And I'm quite sure will inspire many a big-paycheck rebuttal
It started with Katrina, The Bush's and FEMA
who needed to relocate New Orleans from their water-logged arena.

More and more the money-movers came,
In trucks and trailers; sizes not all the same.
They came to live the city's environmental critical acclaim.
The watchers of "Frasier", The healthy, the maimed.
Ah - And lets not forget the pot-heads, with no money, jobs or shame.

The investors and developers; They gleefully appeared.
"The middle and working class will get affordable housing" they all dutifully cheered
(While really, and quite slowly those poor folk just got it in the rear).

The city's authoritative leadership were giddy and happy
with new rapid growth in their money-hungry eyes!
"Let's levy and tax them;
nickel and dime them bone dry".

We'll bulldoze the character
All property we'll buy
We'll jack up the rents
We'll screw renters sky-high.

Then Lo and behold the housing crash hit!
A sad day twas this, WaMu took the worst of the financial hit.
"What to do"? "What to say"? The hand-wringers did exclaim!
As city leaders and developers wondered "now who will pay"?

Amazon! Our Savior, and Starbucks must stay -
MicroSoft and Boeing were starting to sway!
Over-priced Mariners and Seahawks tickets over-paid techies will pay.
While strutting around in skinny jeans, not sure straight or gay.

The parking and commuting are enough to drive a man to drink,
But alcohol taxes are so high to be afforded - and that really stinks!
The crime and the rats have invaded this once beautiful city,
All to be viewed with sad, apathetic pity.
The rolling shoot outs and street drugs galore.
The robberies, the murders and oh, so much more.

Hunger, and homelessness, off-leash pitbulls with lots of chutzpah
While the oblivious drive around in Benzes, Audis and BM-dub-yas
Seattle was a pretty cool place way back in the day,
Where Downtown and Fremont were safe; Capitol Hill was once "gay".

I now leave this state with its DINKs and middle-management money grabs
Let the "educated" young professionals pay the taxes, condo fees, parking and
Oh yes, the excessive car tabs-

I found a new state, I found a new town
I found a cost of living that wont force me down.
Such a place does exist; funny enough - once you look
Where people are nice, and have a pleasant outlook

Im out of this state before the next catastrophic shit hits the fan.
And the over-extended folk once again realize that they have no plan.
I bid you farewell, I bid you adieu -
and in some small aspect, it makes me quite blue, but-
I bid a goodbye to this town and its greedy, over-priced bullshit.
"Enjoy the fruits living in "Pacific Northwest Counterfeit".

@2 - Outstanding. May you have an everlasting bottomless baggie of COCAINE and a mighty EBT account for scamming MALT LIQUOR at the mini-mart.

Why thank you Arty! The MadDog 20/20 is on the way! LOL

Cocaine is fucking expensive, man. And endless baggie would translate to Pablo Escobar levels of material wealth.

I don't think he'd need the EBT card after you gave him the baggie.

As for MadDog 20/20, if you spell that backwards, it's goD daM!

Post script: they had their neck's slit.

@3 The bottomless cocaine bag is a classic gag. Used to pull it on my roommate all the time until he threatened to gut me with a broken dribble glass..

If you’re trained in First Aid, CPR, or any emergency medicine-are a cop or military, it’s second nature to help someone. We go TO the injured, or ill while others are unsure what to do...so step back. That’s ok. (HOWEVER see my last paragraph.)

We ALSO know how to observe for a dangerous environment (Ya know like a 20,000 volt power line that’s down!). We can tell the difference between napping peacefully or unconscious or injured.

Do yourself, family, and friends a favor. Take a Basic Life Support or a First Aid class. More people would have died at the Boston Marathon bombing if it hadn’t been for the number of people who understood how to put on a proper tourniquet! I was VERY impressed with the response! EVEN if you feel uncomfortable walking up to someone lying down--call 911 and stand by---go stand behind a wall or a tree or go inside...but just don’t walk away!

#2 Sorry, the longer the post the less we read. Human nature.

Sorry number 9. I know many people who dont read and blame "human nature". They go by many names, "college graduates", "millennials", and "anarchists" to name just a few, but alas, I cant hold human nature against you as it isnt my loss--- Best wishes

@10 I'm not a millennial, anarchist or recent college grad, but a long negative rambling bitch fest poem about the city is not something that will add any value to most people's lives. How long had you been waiting to use that Pulitzer prize winning bit of literature?