I, Anonymous: You Stole My Bag at the Co-Op, but I'm Not Going to Stop Being Nice!

Comments

1

Two polar bears are sitting in a bath tub.

One polar bear says, "Pass the shampoo!"

the other polar bear says, "What am I, a light bulb??"

2
Did you ask the checker?
4
I hate thieves. I hate anyone who is cool with taking something that doesn't belong to them. You know the type. Unless it is anchored to the ground, it's up for grabs, and you're the fool for not being more leery. It just adds to the coarseness of society, and makes one wonder how someone could be so at ease with causing distress to others. At any rate, there sure seems to be a lot of them around. Is there anyone out there who hasn't been ripped off?
5
At least they aren't using paper or plastic.
6
Several months ago I got my seat post ripped off from my tennis ball green mountain bike. I couldn't ride the bike without the seat post. I hated that bike so I just left it locked up in the parking garage. It's probably still there.
7
@2 Agreed. Also, probably was the checker, since it'd be pretty ballsy to takes someones bag right in front of the checker, given that you had already put your stuff down for the Checker and conversed that you had forgotten something and would be right back. I'd put money on the checker.
8
"This might sound like a lot of bougie whining, but I'm not going to stop being nice"! News Flash- It's a grocery bag. In the grand scheme of the known universe when did a grocery bag become the issue of the day. It must be a sad life lived when a grocery bag is the biggest gripe people have to worry about in this day and age where so many can't even buy groceries for themselves. If I had to guess it must be a Wonder-Woman-empowered-feminist because it has "victim over the slightest thing" written between the misplaced periods and poor sentence structure.
9
OK, time to fess up. The I, Anon in question was being such a typical Entitled Seattle Hipster - Berkinstock socks and sandles, black skinny jeans that one normally sees on 15 year old Emo boys, and get this, Google Glass glasses - that when I saw him whip out an American Express Platnum card before realizing he forgot his six-pack of gulten-free micro brew, well, I figured he could afford to buy another bag. That, and I was sooooo high on COCAINE and MALT LIQUOR, I probably thought it was my bag. I'm using it to contain my empty 40 ounce bottles.
10
@1 A duck goes shopping in a co-op. He gets to the cashier, realizes he forgot to get dish soap, and runs to grab some, leaving his bag at the till. When he returns the bag is gone. The duck looks around and says, "No soap, radio."
11
@10) Ah that's a CLASSIC!
12
@9 I agree with the Birkenstock but that’s about it. The writer is a woman, baggy hippyish pants and top, grey pony tail, and drives a first generation Prius.
Apparently she’s also one of the last remaining Seattleites to still regard PCC as a “co-op.”
13
^ I agree as well.