Dear straight people who come to queer nights: Look, I know we have great style, we're super fun, and we throw rad parties—but that doesn't mean you're invited. It isn't a straight bar on the nights reserved for queers! We specifically reserve nights so we can go somewhere and feel safe while dancing and drinking. We don't want to worry about whether the guy in the corner with his friends is going to jump us on the way to our car. We don't appreciate being called expletives as we make out or dance. We don't appreciate you reiterating your straightness by groping your girlfriend or boyfriend all night. We get it. So here is the deal: We get one special night a month to cut loose and have some fun, while you get every fucking night of the year. Could you just not come to the bar for one night?