dump this person.

I used to be on the other side... I was obsessively playing an online MMORPG and neglecting my spouse; it went on for months and month. I think I was borderline depressed.

Luckily one day, all of a sudden, I somehow snapped out of it and realized what I was doing. I deleted my game account and refocused my life. I still game, but not online games just to be safe.

One should never actually live with their dom. They are strictly playtime companions. It's hard to keep the excitement in a relationship once you have argued about the toilet seat and who has to clean the cat's litter box. Move out, start over.

@3: You're going to have obligations and responsibilities whether you live with the person or not.

What you're describing has everything to do with long term relationships and viewing the other partner as a full human being (flaws and all) and is not limited to living arrangements.

Dump the loser.

Is your self-esteem that bad that you feel compelled to stay with a chump like this.

If you are depressed seek help.
It's out there.

I've been dating a loser for five years. Why do I feel so unsatisfied?

another case of cohabitating way too early

Just because you picked doesn't mean you have to keep him.

People who write things like this are horribly passive, and typically only feel they can do things if they have "permission."

So they write things like this hoping to get permission from commenters, or Dan Savage himself if writing to Savage Love.

So here you go Anon: you have my permission to dump this person and move out. Stop blaming drugs and the vidya, and realize that you are at fault for sticking around. Realize that and then make the changes you know you want to. You have my permission.

Use your words, Shelby. Use your words.

Tell him, kick him out, and dump his ass. I"m 99% sure it's a guy.

Unplug his gaming console and hide it.

Enroll in grad school on the other coast, use your financial aid to springboard out of there, and never look back.

Hire a professional dom and pay her/him to order you to leave this loser.

Dump him. Think about dumping monogamy, too. In every monogamous, longterm relationship the passion dies eventually (and no, a deeper emotional connection does NOT make up for it.) Either one or both resorts to relationship maintenance sex, the relationship becomes sexless, or somebody cheats. I think maybe only asexual people can be in a longterm relationship with just one person without getting bored.

I completely agree with Diagoras @ 16.