I recently read that the most common job in Seattle is software developer, and four out of five developers are male. If you are working in this industry and need to take a shit in your office, you are well aware of this fact. I see your socks and sandals under the door as I hike uncomfortably between the bathrooms on each floor. Most of you are banging away on your phones or laptops in one of the limited stalls. Here's a message: Shit or get off the pot. I'm tired of wasting 10 minutes trying to find a goddamn toilet. When I finally do score a stall, the seat is warm and it often looks like Chewbacca used it before me. Good God, people, do some manscaping! I understand our industry supports open and collaborative environments, but if I hear another conference call taking place in the bathroom, I'm going to kick the door in. Ladies in tech: You have been generally shit on by this industry, but take solace—at least you can take a peaceful dump when nature calls.

To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.