To my fellow Seattle bus riders: Yes, you, top of the bell curve white dude with your earbuds in. And you, lady with the grocery bags taking up four people's worth of space in the aisle. And you, the one with the resting bitch face who looked at me, pretended not to hear, and then looked away disdainfully. Yes, you. I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME. I know you can hear me asking you to move back and make room on the bus. I know you can see that there's more than eight inches between you and the next closest person. I see you looking smugly at the people desperately trying to get on the 20-minutes-late bus to get home to their kids, a hot date, or wherever the E Line will take them. I don't know what makes you feel like you're entitled to all that extra elbow room, but don't be a dick. Move the fuck back. Yes, further. If your face isn't dangerously close to someone else's armpit, KEEP MOVING THE FUCK BACK.

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